How did you get over the "this time last year" Anniversaries?

[barclay20q]

Just wondering, if you have been cheated on and you decided to stay, how did you deal with the "this time last year" Anniversaries?

Like this time last year they had their first kiss
This time last year they slept together
This time last year they said I love you etc?

You get a therapist and start moving on....

I think you need therapy. This was more than a one night stand (not that I would be able to get over that) I don’t know how anyone gets over their DH having an affair especially if they were in love with the other person.

For most I suspect it’s not possible without therapy. I couldn’t.

You don't stay...

If you decide to stay, you probably have no idea when any of the things they did happened for the first time.

You recognise that there's a whole lot of hurt still there under the surface, and the anniversary days (which practically are the sane as any other day) are you subconsciously looking for an outlet. If I couldn't ignore the day, I think I'd go with it. 'Feel the feelings' allow yourself to rage at him, cry, whatever you need to do. Then next day, move on. And if I still felt that way next year round, I'd move on from him, however committed to staying I was.

I’m going through lots of these right now. I give myself permission to be upset, but not wallow. I focus on the good things about our relationship now. I made a choice to stay together and work on us, I made a choice to forgive him. I love him and I love our life together. We have both made mistakes in our relationship, we both deserve compassion, understanding and love.
I don’t believe they had anything real, they can’t in the 8 weeks they were together. They did far more harm to each other as individuals than any happiness they found and she is simply not important.
I have a lifetime of happiness in front of me - not because of him and our relationship, but because of me and the life I choose to live. Their ‘anniversaries’ won’t affect that.