18 months ago I separated from my children's Dad. For various reasons we've remained living in the same house. I have posted before. I'm going to ring up and find out next week if I can go onto universal credits and my plan is to get a little job in a few months time. I'm still recovering from a procedure that's hopefully going to improve a situation that was making me unwell. My ex hasn't wanted to sort our mortgage. In fact he's standing by he wants to keep the house it's the only affordable way for him. He has said that he is happy for me to stay for as long as I want but I feel I need to look into moving forward.
I've had a few difficult months. I've been in hospital and and I'm in a new relationship. I didn't get into this relationship for 10 months after we split. This man means the world to me and he's the only thing I feel I have apart from my children. We are not going to be moving in together or anything anytime soon. It's definitely a slow-paced relationship but that's all we want right now. I stay at his house every other night. My two children have just met him this week. I spend half the weekend with him and now the kids have met him sometimes they can be part of that too.
I am doing my best I'm still running the house. I'm washing my ex's clothes and cooking for all of us. I'm trying to build my new relationship and be a good mum of course. My family are not very good. I don't have a close relationship with my mum. She is very cold and very judgemental. She's very patronising. I'm 33 years old now and she still speaks to me like a silly teenager. My sister is also hit-and-miss with her support.
My ex is taking our children away on Saturday for 12 days. His mum and dad were going on this holiday and his dad now has cancer. It was either lose over £1,000 or my children were offered to go with their dad. My mum messaged me this morning and asked what we were doing over Easter. As soon as I said my kids were going away tomorrow I put my phone down and knew her reply would be negative. She replied a long paragraph about out worrying the kids will be ok. She asked me if I wasn't worried about never seeing them again. She suggested they could die if he takes his eyes off them and something happens. She said I'm sorry but if it was me I would say they can't go. I replied back and defended him as a parent and said he was quite capable and she said I know he's a good dad. My sister then told me I needed to get out of the house and sort my life out through universal credits and stuff. She told me I should stop helping my new boyfriend and constantly and sorting my own mess out. I replied to my sister and said there really was no need for that message.
None of my family have ever sat down since we split and spoke to me properly. They've refused to listen to me. They won't respect the decisions my ex has made. They accuse me of living off him. They don't consider that it was my house for 5 years before he moved in and I've paid that mortgage myself for 9 of those years of the 12 it's belong to me. They refuse to respect my new relationship. They don't mention him unless they want to dig. They never ask how it is. If I say he's cooked me a nice meal or we've done something nice my mum won't engage in a conversation about it. It's like I am being punished for any happiness coming my way. My mum seems to think all I should be doing is staying home with my kids cleaning.
I feel unwell and stressed. I feel drained. They won't listen to me when I say I've got no money at the moment and I want to make sure the kids have a nice home to move into too. My ex also wants to make sure the kids are ok and that's why we are not rushing into moving out. I feel like the people can't see what I'm going through and they just want to punish me. I really need some support and talk this through. I feel like a naughty child