Help me understand my exh.

[forestay]

I would be grateful for your opinions please. My exh is with his affair partner for the last three years that I know of.
She refused point blank to meet our kids. They have no part in her life or their lives and he moved her in for a large part of lockdowns and so wouldn't have our kids at his but drive them around the village in the pisses of rain.
She sends them presents , very generous ones for their birthdays and Christmas .

Help me to understand why he has chosen to have a lengthy relationship with a woman who under no circumstances , wants his children to be a part of her life .

For context, when he is with the kids he is forever on the phone to her arguing or answering her relentless messages , often very angry exchanges according to my very
Upset children.

Anyone please?

This is a very toxic situation for your children. How much contact does your ex have with the children and where do they go?

The presents maybe to do with guilt?

She wants to play that she is the only important one in his life. The gifts are to ease the guilt from such a ridiculous notion.

I'd say the simple answer is you married a wanker.

Wankers gonna wank.

Thank God you aren't with him any longer. Now focus on explaining to your children that none of their father's behaviour is in any way a reflection on them. It is sad that he is incapable of putting them above his own wishes or relationship. But he's clearly not. I'd be looking at whether contact was actually benefiting them or not.

He is having sex with a younger woman and that is great for his ego. Away from his children he is free from all the drudgery that parenting brings - and it makes him feel younger and more alive. He is a selfish man who cares only for himself, but he knows he should be parenting his children so buys expensive gifts to compensate.

That's my take on this situation.

He’s pathetic.
He’s prioritised his girlfriend over his children.
Not sure there’s any more explanation than that. Raising children and being a good parent is hard, so he’s opted out.

@MadMadMadamMim “wankers gonna wank”

So so true!

Loving ‘wankers gonna wank’ will bare that in mind when whatever wank my ex is on about.

Because he’s a selfish wanker OP.

She is jealous of your children I'd say she wants your ex to herself, hence the constant text ect.
Also your ex is a cunt. X

. I was married to a wanker first time around, and sadly had children with said wanker.

I spent many years wondering why he behaved in such a shit way towards his children. Why he frequently let them down. Why he didn't pay maintenance for them. I kept thinking if I could only explain clearly to him the effect his behaviour had on his children, that he would somehow understand. And change.

Took me a long time to recognise that some people behave like a wanker because they are a wanker. And it really is that simple.