Single with no desire to change that

[salt123]

At the grand old age of 32 I have come to the conclusion that I am done with relationships. My last two relationships have been abusive. I am currently still living with my ex, who is father to my 2dc, whilst I wait for the house I am buying to complete. The emotional and verbal abuse is ramping up for the last few weeks and I am physically ill from the stress of it.
People like to talk about me meeting new people going on dates etc and when I say I have no desire to do that. They always reply with 'you will one day'. But I don't think I will. Why would I put myself in physical and mental danger again? I think my upbringing has made me particularly vulnerable to being in abusive relationships so I'm best to stay away.
I have two amazing children who I want to focus on and give them the best chances after a crappy start to their short lives.
Has anyone else felt like this and stuck to it? Just looking for similar experiences.

Single for 7 years now. Absolutely no desire to ever change that. 2 crap relationships down the pan, abandonment. cheating, abuse.. It took me 5 years just to feel like myself again and I have no intention of wrecking that peace if mind that comes from knowing I run my own show.

I am resolutely single but not celibate.

I live in my own place and have a rotation of sexual partners. I’ve never been happier in my life.

I am resolutely single but not celibate.

No me neither. Some people seem to view being single as meaning you've also given up on sex. I currently have a really fun fwb thing going on - not for the first time either. We both know that's all it is and if I never heard from him again tomorrow I wouldn't lose any sleep over it and neither would he.

I much prefer single. No need for a man even part time as prefer my own independence my own freedom me time hobbies and single women friends.

‘Some people seem to view being single as meaning you've also given up on sex.’

I know

Nod and smile, nod and smile.

I just indulge in the odd bit of casual here and there. I do not tell people though as none of their business.

@WellThisWentWell yes it's very strange how women who moan endlessly about their DHs think that their DHs will be irresistible to you. Or perhaps they are painfully aware that their DH will think that as you are single you will be gagging for it and will offer to solve that for you.

@Hathertonhariden

It’s usually the DHs’ gagging for it!

I reckon I have more sex than all of the ones I know.

Tbh, you're right in Theddlethorpe of it at the moment. It's good that you're focused on the nere amd now amd getting your life sorted rather than worrying about whether a boy is going to like you or not

But there is no guarantee of how you will feel in another few years time.

I didn't have any desire. For another relationship. I dated a but here and there for the company and sex but it took 10 years for me to want an actual relationship with someone.

Nearly 32 here OP.

I’ve been single for a few months and this is the first time in 4 years for me. In recent weeks I’ve had the following thoughts:

• I love having my bed to myself. No-one’s snoring/wriggling/taking up space and interrupting my sleep

• Omg I just cooked a meal without someone whinging about the cost of the ingredients or how long it’s taking

• I’m off on holiday. I don’t have to cater for someone else’s tastes or follow someone else’s idea of fun - only my own!

• I haven’t had to sit through a football match in months

• I like me. I’m fine with it just being me. For now ;)

Like others, I’m open to the idea that this will change abs evolve over time. But my post is to tell you that no, you’re not alone. I think it’s normal to want total peace following everything you have described. Enjoy it. Enjoy your kids, find your happy place and spend some time there.

Plus I may hook up later. Single does not mean celibate 😬

I don't have children, but if I did I'm not sure I would be bothered being in a relationship until they were grown.

I'm happily single (I have a bit on the side for a date and sex once a week, but nothing more) and this works really well for me.
I love my alone time and space for friendships and hobbies. I like being able to choose how my pets I have and whether they are allowed to sleep on the bed. I like having my home and decor as I like it (well it's a work in progress!) and the wardrobe space all to myself. I'm ok financially and hopefully always will be which makes a huge difference in my concern or not that I don't have a partner to share the burden of running a home.

Never say never, if a lovely man walked into my life I wouldn't reject the idea of a LTR, but single life is lovely too.

Concentrate on loving and looking after your children, anything else should come second anyway.