So basically we are early fifties, been together forever (the only serious relationship for both of us).
About 12 years ago our sex life started to go downhill - mainly just getting less frequent, although has always been satisfying when it happens.
DH started to suffer ED and at the time I was worried it was because he had met someone else, so I did a bit of digging around - turned out not to be someone else in real life, but he worked away and had a bit of a porn habit. Anyway, I spoke to him about it, and basically said I was concerned the porn was affecting our intimacy (as he didn't seem to have much interest in sleeping with me, and it was always me making the first move). He agreed that we needed to make more of an effort to maintain our sexual relationship and said he would cut down on the porn which I think he did, as things picked up and were fine for quite a while.
Anyway with the onset of peri menopause my libido took a dive, my moods went south, and what was left of our sex life has gradually dwindled away. I'm on Hrt which has helped with moods and although I'm not rampant, I'm feeling depressed at the thought of never having sex again. His ED was sorted for a while with viagra but it seems to have lost its effectiveness, plus I've had other outside stresses, and we just seem to have no intimacy left. We hardly touch each other and sleep apart.
In day to day life we get on ok, we have common interests etc, but I just don't even know where to start to try and get back on track, or even if I want to get back on track. I don't think he's bothered by the lack of sex or affection and seems quite content, but I am bothered by it, I feel lonely in my own marriage and wonder if I'd prefer to be alone. He hasn't worked away for ages and we both WFH so I genuinely don't think the porn is an issue these days, he says he just doesn't get the urge anymore. Can it be rescued, or are we flogging a dead horse?