Grandad looking for a girlfriend

[WonderingOutLoud]

I oversee the care for my grandad who has several chronic health conditions. He's bright, witty and super well-travelled but doesn't go out much due to severe mobility issues. Recently though he's started talking to a lady and he's told her he's interested in more than a friendship.This lady is the same age but physically much fitter than grandad and is very independent. She has agreed to take him out for lunch so they can talk further.

At first I was a bit surprised but I'm ok with it now. I just want him to be happy! However I'm trying to get my head around what this could look like. If it does go ahead, this lady effectively becomes a carer. I know from experience that this is a tough life!

There is no financial benefit to this lady getting into a relationship with grandad (he has no assets) so I guess I'm wondering if sometimes people walk into situations like this just because they're looking for companionship? It feels like a tough life to be voluntarily signing up for. Ultimately though, I want happiness and joy for him, whatever that looks like.

Does anyone have any experience of elderly parents/grandparents getting into a relationship like this? I'm just trying to get my head around it!

You really can't understand that older people still have feelings and want to experience love and companionship.

That's a shame.

My FIL got a GF after his wife passed away. I think he was only late 60's at the time though, and was in very good health. They are still together now, some 5 years later, and do enjoy meals out and holidays etc. My own Dad was 78 when my Mum died, and has zero interest in meeting another woman. He's quite happy with his male friendship group, that meet up a few nights a week in the care home bar, and get drunk. TBF my Dad would have no interest whatsoever in going on holiday or doing anything that doesn't revolve around alcohol, so I guess that's part of the reason why. From what my Mum used to say, he also lost his sex drive in his 50's.

Good for Grandad. I hope you ave wished him well in his quest for companionship and happiness.

They can be in a relationship/friendship without her becoming his carer, surely?

Because older people obviously cannot fall in love so the only reason they'd get together would be if there was a financial benefit

@MingeofDeath

Good for Grandad. I hope you ave wished him well in his quest for companionship and happiness.

I have! I took him to his first lunch meet-up with her. Talk about role reversal 😂

@titchy

Because older people obviously cannot fall in love so the only reason they'd get together would be if there was a financial benefit

That isn't what I meant. My point is that he has very severe disabilities and she doesn't. Of course there can be huge love between both of them but it would inevitably mean a rather radical change of life for her. 😊

” people walk into situations like this just because they're looking for companionship”

This. Simply this.

”I'm trying to get my head around what this could look like. If it does go ahead, this lady effectively becomes a carer.”

But they’re only going out for a chat. Let him enjoy his Date Zero

I can understand your concerns and maybe keep them in the back of your mind but you might be worrying for nothing. Just see how things pan out.

Why does she have to become his carer???

Its good of you to be concerned for this woman, but unless you feel your grandad is deliberately concealing the extent of his health issues from her, in order to mislead her somehow, I think you need to assume she is old and wise enough to make her own decisions.