Hi, so here’s my situation. Any views or advice welcome!
I’Ve been with my partner 6 years, married 3 and we have an 18 month old.
My husband lied to me a few times about who he’s in touch with and our relationship is in a bit of a mess.
There was a woman from work he said he wasn’t in touch with who I found a string of messages to, with him asking her to meet up for drinks.
There was one Christmas party where he went to a woman’s house for ‘tea’ at 3am then lied to me. He swore he’d shared a cab back with several people then rebooked it at the last house but never gone inside. He lied to me for 2 years about this and only admitted it when I was 11 weeks pregnant.
Recently I found messages on his phone to a woman at work with him asking her if she was going to their work drinks. He’s never mentioned this woman before and they clearly meet up for lunches and chats. He was deleting the messages after and said he always deletes messages. (There were several threads there undeleted to male colleges.
He also lies about weird things like when he said there was a free skiing trip at work and the whole department (300 people) were going. He didn’t go in the end but it was a paid trip for 30 people. It just seems like a pointless lie?
On top of all this we don’t sleep together as he has no desire for me. I feel really undesired and insecure.
I really don’t trust a word he says anymore and I have no idea what to do. I also don’t want to ruin things for my little boy by being a paranoid insecure mess. I’ve stopped asking about his nights out now as I’m worried I’ll catch him in a lie and it’ll grate away at me but I just resent him.