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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Controlling MIL

1 reply

Justnotnow · 30/03/2022 19:02

My MIL is controlling and always makes everything about her and what she wants. If she doesn’t get what she wants she cries and plays the victim. She has never really made any effort with me in the 12 years I’ve been with my other half. We got married 2 years ago and just before that she lost her husband, just everything was then about her and how she was on her own. When I had my son who is the first grandchild on her side, everything was about her again. She even kept holding her arms out and saying “come to mummy”

We have to go over to her house every Saturday so that she can see us and our son. We don’t get much time as a family of 3 only on a Sunday.

I pop to see my parents in the week and spend quite a bit of time with my sister as she has children the same age and lives down the road.
My husband thinks his mum doesn’t spend enough time with our son. She doesn’t work but is out with her friends during the week. I used to organise us meeting up with her but she then never used to do the same so I stopped asking her. It works both ways. I have booked a nice day out for us for Easter but she never does the same thing.

She has to make everything about her and play the victim all the time. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with someone like this?

I just don’t feel comfortable in her presence. She’s very judgemental and everything I do with my son she has to know the ins and out and tell me what I do wrong. She loves to tell me how to look after my house and how to cook and basically just thinks she knows everything and is the best.

My husband and his siblings all jump whenever she needs them to do something otherwise they get guilt tripped or she cries. It drives me insane how she acts!

OP posts:
springtimeishereagain · 30/03/2022 19:24

You don't have a MIL problem; you have a H problem.

He needs to have your back, to support you, and to be less in thrall to his mum.

Get him to read the stately homes thread on here... sounds like his mum has abused him all his life and that's all he knows.

I'd start by not seeing his mum every week. Mix things up a bit. Good luck...

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