Ex work colleague…meeting up

[SilverShaker]

Having worked with a colleague from work for three years, last year she retired. We always got on well so it was natural to meet up for a coffee and a chat. This has now happened twice and each time she tries to drill me for information about the team. I’m not really interested in all of this, it’s my day off and I don’t wish to talk behind the teams back.

I like the ex colleague, I thought we were friends but I’m sick of her asking.

Has anyone else had this? What did you do?

Distance yourself, it shouldn't be difficult if you have no other reason to see her. It's your day off … "soooo many errands to run, sorry"

It's something you have in common so it's natural bthe conversation goes that way.

I would just brush those comments off and say things like no idea I tend to keep myself to myself ..
And then move the conversation onto something else

I suppose it depends why she’s asking.

If it was me, I’d just gloss over the bare details – yeah, everyone’s okay, barbara in accounts became a grandma last week, paul from HR has found a new bit of fluff to chase.. so how’s retirement suiting you? Are you managing to do all the things we say we haven’t got time for whilst we’re a slave to our payslips?

I suspect she’s missing everyone, the camaraderie and the routine of “work” and floundering a bit until she finds her feet in this new phase of her life? Maybe cut her a little slack in that respect but steer the conversation away from tittle-tattle and on to her or your life beyond work.

I know my mum found it difficult to adjust to retirement and found it quite touching that “the girls” kept in touch once she’d left. I think the contact naturally drifted after a while.

@DatingDinosaur

I suppose it depends why she’s asking.

If it was me, I’d just gloss over the bare details – yeah, everyone’s okay, barbara in accounts became a grandma last week, paul from HR has found a new bit of fluff to chase.. so how’s retirement suiting you? Are you managing to do all the things we say we haven’t got time for whilst we’re a slave to our payslips?

I suspect she’s missing everyone, the camaraderie and the routine of “work” and floundering a bit until she finds her feet in this new phase of her life? Maybe cut her a little slack in that respect but steer the conversation away from tittle-tattle and on to her or your life beyond work.

I know my mum found it difficult to adjust to retirement and found it quite touching that “the girls” kept in touch once she’d left. I think the contact naturally drifted after a while.

DatingDinosaur is spot on. I don’t think it’s malicious but it’s natural. I would just give her a bit of goss and move on x

I had the same situation. A colleague left work and then wanted to meet for coffee. All she wanted to do was talk about my work colleagues and hear gossip. She wasn't interested in me or other topics of conversation. After two meet ups I suddenly was "really busy" everytime she suggested a meet up.