Hi!
I will keep this brief as the details probably don't matter, but I would like some advice if people have been through similar.
I am trying to leave my partner. We have a 5 yo. It's not going well and he essentially has been vetoing it. I have worked with Women's Aid as there has been borderline emotionally abusive behaviour for quite some time (years).
I have started mediation proceedings, but he's not responded to them. Though they have now given a deadline to him so maybe he will.
If he doesn't I get the forms to take to court (anyone who knows more about this step please step in!)
We live in a shared ownership flat, with a mortgage on 50%. I have been approved (conditionally, passed affordability assessment and credit check) to take over the mortgage.
He has indicated he doesn't want this (he spoke about suing me for more equity, but that's a separate fight I think...and I have proof that we agreed we would get out what we put in in terms of my putting more deposit and him more into monthly payments, so currently I have more equity in the property than him)
I know if push comes to shove I can force a sale of the flat, but does anyone know if I can make him let me take over the mortgage/flat myself?
I have asked the housing association (who own the other 50%) and they said it's fine by them, just do the mortgage and then pay a fee (as ever!) to them to change it over.
I asked the mediator but she said as the process has begun she can't answer any queries.
Any advice appreciated. It's been many years of trying to leave him. He still won't accept it's over and says I need to go back to counselling and really "do the difficult work" this time. We did counselling twice before and I did relent and start sleeping with him again for some months, but he then complained that it was obvious I didn't like it, so I had to try harder!! I hated it and it showed I guess, but I had been clear long before that I wanted to split up. He used to drink and has been unpleasant for a long time. He's good with our daughter (though I don't like that she sees this as a model for a relationship. Nor does he but he says the answer is that I need to do the work and be nice to him. He won't be nice to me cos I don't deserve it...it's a mind fuck to live like this). He's concerned we can't afford two flats, and it will be tight, but his answer is that we stay here (sharing a bedroom) so we can afford holidays and a college fund for our daughter...I would rather be free of him and get on with my life (shared custody though)
Anyway...advice on the flat/mortgage, mediation docs/TOLATA issue would be so appreciated. Thank you!!