How can I make my husband value me??

[sali93]

My husband and I are currently in a long distance relationship. He is genuinely a very bad communicator, he expresses his love through his actions but struggles a lot to express his feelings verbally which is why long distance is so hard for us. Recently though, it feels like our calls and messages have just lost their spark. I don't understand what to do, how can I make him really want to talk to me and value our calls and messages. I know that not being too available all the time is one way, but I feel like that really doesn't work with us because when I distance myself a bit (to make him miss me), he just gets even more miserable and it just leads to more misunderstandings😭😭please help.

Also, any men out there, or woman:) please if you could just let me know, does a man like a really nice girl that gives her all or a bit of a snobby girl?

You can't.

And it depends on the man.

What do you talk about on your calls? Is he happy or are things going badly for him? How often do you see him?

Do you have children? If you had other commitments you wouldn't have time to think about this

You can't make someone value you. They either do or they don't.

does a man like a really nice girl that gives her all or a bit of a snobby girl?

Different men find different qualities attractive.

Also, you cam give someone the space/opportunity to miss you but, again, you can't make.them.

Besides, I wouldn't recommend game playing with anyone but certainly not your husband. The 'rules' you're following are supposed to apply to the early stages of dating. Not a marriage!

Why are you long distance in the first place? Is it because of work?

You can't make someone value you. And to be honest, your post isn't asking how to make him value you ( he is your husband so I assume he does value you !). You are asking how to create a spark in your conversations - and that isn't really possible if he isn't in the mood. And your idea of "playing hard to get " seems ridiculous to me - he is your husband, not some guy you just met ! You know he isn't a good communicator - so accept him as he is and don't try playing silly games to make him something he isn't.

For me the bit I like about my relationship with my husband is I can be myself. For me playing games will drive you further apart not closer together.

Just be YOU.

It's up to him whether or not he 'values' you, it's not something you can 'engineer'.

Long distance is tough, and many couples don't manage it, but if you're trying to force things, it'll only make it worse.

How long distance?
Is there a time difference?

Can you do things together via video call? IE eat/ prepare dinner/ watch a TV show, but just be on video and chat as normal?