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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Managing frustration with ignorant/unintelligent relatives

3 replies

Tamworth123 · 29/03/2022 23:49

This sounds terrible, I know.

I am struggling to manage my frustration and anger with close relatives who tend towards ignorance (and do pretty much nothing to change it), yet are very opinionated and verbose.

This crystallised recently when I found out that a. one of them failed to provide reassuring and useful information to other relatives going through something pretty terrible; because they cannot grasp the basics of the subject, and have never really bothered to try (a family genetic illness/disease), and the only reason the couple were facing that in the first place was because another relative (whose behaviour mirrors my close relative;s) failed to understand & take appropriate action re. the disease i.e. testing.

Several years ago my close relative also heavily discouraged me from sharing information, seekng information and encouraging other family members to get tested, and apparently still holds that view ... despite a youg child's life now being affected by the lack of discussion, info. sharing and encouraging people to get tested. (Yes, that branch of the family may still have chosen not to, but at least we would have done our best to try).

It was obvious during the discussion taht my close relatives still have little to no grasp/understanding of the basics, still believe misinformation, and have not made any apparent effort to learn; even while they knew this was going on (and one hid it from me because she knew my views).

I know a lot of it is genuine inability to understand .... how do I manage my anger & frustration at something which I suppose is not their faults?

OP posts:
Tamworth123 · 29/03/2022 23:51

Actually I shouldn't have qualified terrible with "pretty", it's just terrible.

OP posts:
TheChippendenSpook · 30/12/2022 19:42

Is it your stepdaughter?

Lookingoutside · 30/12/2022 19:45

Tell them about themselves. Calmly and without swearing and prepare for your anger to lift.

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