Old friends, good memories.. but where does it lead?

[Emprexia]

I had a 'boyfriend' when i was at primary school, we used to hold hands and kiss each other on the cheek.

He went to a boys secondary school while i went to the local grammar. We lost touch and he moved away

He contacted me through face book the end of last year, he's back in town, we've exchanged messages back and forth, then this week, we finally caught each other on MSN.

He's as sweet as i remember, only its been 15 years since we spoke, i'm married with a baby, he's engaged.. and neither of us are particularly happy in our relationships.

I would never even contemplate cheating on my husband, we made each other a promise that if we found someone else, we'd finish our relationship before starting another.. no cheating.. and while i've nearly left him a couple of times because he can be a complete *sshole at times, i'm not ready to give up on what we have.

I don't know what my old boyfriend wants from me, but i know he appreciates me and tells me i'm beautiful and kind and deserve to be treated better than i am... i dont know where this is leading.

What if i get feelings for him? Right now, i just need the friendship, but what if he's looking for more, and what if i end up wanting to give it to him?

primary school?

you need to move on, love

Lol, i did move on... I didn't even think about him other than in passing when laughing about what we did at school with my friends.

But meeting him again as an adult, the memory of the close childhood friendship we had has come back, and other than being older, he really hasn't changed at all from how i remember him.

I do want to rekindle the friendship.. i have lots of male friends, so its nothing out of the ordinary for me... but the more we talk, the more i realise how much we still have in common and share.

Hence the musing about just where this is going.

leave it where it belongs in the past.

you can't live your life on what if's, and I made a mistake.

he has told you he is unhappy with his relationship

he is engaged

I think a man who discusses his relationship with his fiance with a woman on the internet who he hasn't seen since school is not worth bothering with

that is not 'sweet' that is arse behaviour

if a mumsnetter posted on here saying "I've just been reading my df's facebook and he has been chatting to a girl he went to school and saying that he is not happy with me - also he says she is beautiful and deserves to be treated better than her husband treats her" - come on, what would we say?

we would say get rid, he is an arse, get out while you can

and that is my advice to you as well

Thing is, a new partner can't rescue you from a bad relationship. A new partner is basically irrelevant to a relationship: you either fix what's wrong with it, decide to put up with what's wrong with it, or walk away from it. Other people cannot fix you, you can only fix yourslef.

And BTW, being treated with respect by others doesn't depend on being 'beautiful' and people who think it does are prats.

he sounds awful tbh. he's got relationship problems, but he's still getting married. and wanting to have it on with you?

what a wanker.

i know it's lovely to hear nice words when your own relationship is not great, but don't fall for it. cut contact.

agree with Capp

If I were you I would cut contact with this guy and focus on your relationship. Decide on whether you want to make a go of your marriage and give everything you have to that decision.

Tell him he should do the same.

If and when there is ever a time when you're both single then you could see where this relationship could go.

But for the moment, you know where this is leading and I'm afraid that if you don't put a stop to it now it will end in heartache for all involved.

You said "i'm not ready to give up on what we have" - so try your very best to put things right and focus on your dh. This man is saying all the right things, playing on your weaknesses, and sounds like trouble for you

I have found ,myself in a very similar situation just recently (bloody facebook) and you have to just cut if off now before things spiral and get out of control. Its always lovely to get compliments and can easily find yourself swaying to thoughts of this other person. But its not worth it, really. End it before something has a chance to get going IMO

When you are feeling taken for granted and unnoticed in your relationship and don't feel like your partner is impressed by you anymore, someone else giving you attention just for you and who you are and nothing to do with just staying with you as a mother/housekeeper to their children feels so good that it is really addictive. I've learnt from recent mistake that the more you get the more you want, til you've gone too far, then when you try to 'end' it you've developed feelings you didn't mean to have and it really really hurts to try to cut off. It may be negative, but probably nothing people say will stop you and the longer it goes on the more it will hurt you later. Is your relationship beyond help? Mine isn't and now I've been 'switched back on' to how it can feel at the beginning I'm trying to notice my husband's good points and seduce him again. Still hurting about the other one though and don't know how long it will take for the feelings to fade.

I'm in exactly the same boat. Before christmas I went to a reunion and I met up with this boy who I had a really bad crush on & he me. It's been 20 years but the feelings we have now are exactly the same. I've been with my husband for coming up to 17 years and we have 3 children. I havn't been happy for the last year really. Me and my husband met when I was 18 so i've spent all my adult life with him, but I now I feel like I just want to be on my own(but with my children) & stand on my own 2 feet. Me and my old flame have been texting each other & it makes me feel so desirable. I don't really know what to do?