Why is my DH so pathetic?

[lulupop]

We were out last night, on a fantastic Chef's Table thing in London, with friends of DH's from work. It was a corporate entertainment thing so naturally loads of booze was consumed. Got home at 2am and DH fell into a deep slumber, snored like a hog all night, while I was up 3 times with the kids.

This morning DH got up looking fine but then later announced he was "sick" and has gone back to bed. We are supposed to be at lunch at one of MY friends' houses this afternoon, with the children, and DH insists he can't go.

This friend only invited us so DH could meet the other guy who's going to be there, and I know she'll be really pissed off if he doesn't come. I think it's beyond the pale to not turn up just because you're hungover. Plus, I also feel a bit "tired" today, but someone has to get up and deal with the kids, don't they?

Why is my DH so pathetic? What would you do if your DH refused to go to something because he was hungover? Is it just me? Am I unreasonable?

No you're not unreasonable. If you've accepted an invitation for you both to go somewhere for lunch, then you should both go. I'd be seriously p*ssed off (if I was the host/ess) if I was let down at such a late stage, particularly if the whole point is for your dh to be there to meet someone. He's being very selfish IMO.

Tell DH that fair's fair, pop a paracetamol or whatever and come out with you and your friends. Cheeky boy. You're not out of order. If you can make the effort for him and his friends then he ought to be able to make the effort for you and yours. Tell him he'll have a lovely time and that you don't have to stay late.

Hope he goes and you have a lovely afternoon.

Tell him he needs to be very strong and brave and go. Sounds like you'd better drive if he had a skinful last night.

Well, firstly I'd be making so much noise and encouraging the children to express themselves to the fullest that any sleep he was hoping to get would be impossible I would then tell him to get a grip and get ready as we were expected at someone's house. My best friends dh did this on my dd's christening day and I have yet to forgive him 4 yrs later.

Definitely NOt unreasonable lulupop - I am with sozie on this 100%! kick the big drip into the bathroom and you get ready to go!!

Pathetic.

Dh is a bit rubbish when hungover, but even he wouldn't refuse to go out when he's already agreed to go. Mind you, his mum was a hippy and her strategy for teaching him about alcohol was to let him drink as much as he liked but to insist that he went to school/college/whatever in the morning. Evidently it worked (at least it taught him about responsibilities - didn't stop him drinking.)

No you're not being unreasonable. He knew he was supposed to be going out the next day and so should have adjusted his drinking habits accordingly. Agree with the idea of sending the children in to see Daddy - preferably armed with their loudest and most irritating toys.

well, I let him sleep/lie moaning in bed until 2pm, when I sent DS in. I then made noises about how much I'd appreciate it if he came.

We went, and guess what? He suddenly "just fancied" a couple more glasses of wine and huge plate of lunch. While I ran around after the children.

Still, at least he went. Still pathetic though.

lulu - one thing I have tried out is the concept of "virtual hangovers" - on the premises that if I got completely obliterated on a Friday/Saturday night, DH would have to step in with babycare etc; therefore why should I be at a disadvantage for choosing to stay sober. telling DH - ok, fine for you to be drunk, hungover, but I get equivalent laze around rights next weekend tends to be more palatable to the male of the species than a blanket prohibition.

It's amazing how well they recover poor lambs! My dh convinced me for a while he had kidney problems till I realised he was just a light weight.

the kids would be in the bedroom dancing on the bed for a start and if he got angry i would tell him i have a hangover too. as for the dinner date if he was crying off - he would have to phone and face the embarressment.

hangovers work like this in our house - either i get arseholed or he does - it doesnt mean either cant drink but cant drink so that both of you wont see daylight until 3pm the next day. its a compromise as is everything. we do it alternatley maybe thats something you should consider as a solution - oh and if the dinner date was pre arranged i would have had a discussion with dh before the drinking outing as to how it would effect it.

to be honest, the thing we went ton on Sat night was quite a smart occasion, and although I knew the wine would be nice, it didn't occur to me that DH would get so pissed.

I did tell him yesterday that if he didn't go to lunch he'd have to phone my friend and apologise - he got out of bed after that.

love MTS's idea, but in our house it would never work. DH wld agree to my "virtual hangover", but then just put the kids in fron tof the tv. I would then end up getting up to take them out.

He is so hopeless, sometimes I wonder how I had such rose-tinted glasses on when I married him!