Online Dating - Safety Help

[DebbieBustamove]

I'm about to have my first date in ten years with a man I matched with on an App. TEN YEARS!

It's a casual walk and a coffee thing, in daytime, in a public place. What safety aspects do I need to be aware of? I don't have his number. Should I? We've only spoken online. I haven't given him mine. He has minmal social media but appears to be who he says he is (I've dug around). I'm going to tell my friends where we're going and who he is. Someone suggested putting location app on my phone so they can keep an eye. Does that seem mad?

Take his number, ask for his full name and send a friend your live location on WhatsApp for the duration of the date if you want to be safe.

Okay, I'll get his number. I have his full name from socials. I'll make sure my friends have my location too. Thank you!

@CloseYourEyesAndSee

Take his number, ask for his full name and send a friend your live location on WhatsApp for the duration of the date if you want to be safe.

I think this is overkill of I'm honest and it would put me off if someone asked this! Meet him somewhere public, tell your friends where you're going, maybe screenshot them a photo of him. That's it 🤷🏼‍♀️

I think this is overkill of I'm honest and it would put me off if someone asked this!

You'd think it's overkill to ask for the phone number and full name of someone you're going on a date with?? Are you a man who dates women?

Personally I wouldn't bother sharing my location if I'm meeting in public but I always do if I go to their house for the first time.

No, I'm a woman who's been on quite a few OLD 😂
I've usually found out their full name beforehand by stalking social media, but if I hadn't, then no, if I was meeting them in the daytime somewhere public (or even in the evening actually if it was public) I've never asked their full name and phone number before I've met them.

He was happy to give me his number and I feel better for having it, even if it's just to tell him I'm late or lost or if the train breaks down! I knew a couple once who met and married through the Lonely Hearts pages of the Evening Standard BITD and can't imagine having to do all this without social media, phones, locators etc - I don't think it's a bad thing, but it has made me really consider my safety.

I don’t think I’ve ever asked anyone’s full name before a date but then I wouldn’t want to give mine straight away either!

Plenty of guys are reluctant to give their phone number before a first date, because plenty of women go crazy on texting and calling them if the date does not go well or they want to bail out. I wouldn't find that a red flag. I don't give guys my phone number for the same reason.

If you're going to meet the guy for a walk in an open, public place, I personally would not be any more concerned about safety than if I was walking by myself and started a conversation with a random stranger.

Enjoy!

I wouldn't feel that safe going for a walk, I'd rather be inside seated somewhere. Going for a walk, before you know you could find yourself isolated with him, just be careful.

You’ve done great by internet sleuthing. That’s my top tip to see if he checks out, has a partner, etc. i don’t think you need send live location, but do tell a friend. My friends ALWAYS text me to make sure I got home safely. I no longer give my my full (or even my first name) on dates as I was harassed by a weirdo after I blocked him. He found my personal details. Fair enough, however, those details shouldn’t be used after blocking.
I Google myself to see how much personal info is out there.

I’m very privacy-conscious indeed. Maybe too much so. But it’s the way I am!

I’m a woman and I would never give my surname. Or even exactly where I live, more just a general area. There’s no need for a stranger I’ve never met to know. I’d even consider a burner phone for a first date!

Googling people I think is awful anyway. And it didn’t stop the Tindler Seindler - he had a very high social media presence with thousands of followers.

Do a video chat first to make sure he is who he says he is. Saves catfishing and you know he's real!

But safety - I think a brief date in a public place where you can get home easily. I was folllowed by a first date - he told me that afterwards. Not to worry you but There are some creepy men out there. If you are relaxed and in a public place, I think all should be ok.

Hmm maybe I take it too far tho …. we are all different though.

Enjoy your date

I personally wouldn't go on a walk for a first date...way too isolating!! It might sound romantic but could you easily extricate yourself if a man started getting a bit 'handsy' (or worse 😨)??

Coffee shop or wine bar for a 'quick drinks' date. No need for more than that really. And have a 'get away' route and excuse planned well in advance, in case you need to make a quick exit!!

Does he have your full name, OP? I'd be reluctant to give mine at this stage, personally, if that's not too much. Phone numbers would need to be exchanged by both in case of cancellation or delay?

I agree about meeting publicly, though not sure about a walk.

I have no experience of OLD just to add! I'm looking for tips when/if I do decide to try it.