Hook up with ex, would it bother you if they didn't get in touch afterwards?

[Hannahx2]

We dated for a year in 2016, broke up (initiated by me - but amicable) then recently got back in casual contact on social media. We went for food, a few drinks and back to a hotel, I left after a few hours as I had to get home.

I haven't heard a peep today.

I'm not looking for a relationship, I don't have the time for one, but I think it's a bit rude not to atleast send a text saying "nice to see you, have a good week" or such like.

Would it bother you or is radio silence afterwards typical of hookups?

Wouldn't bother me.

Not unusual at all.

Guy goes through his list of possibilities, sends them a message on sm, waits for a bite, reels them in with friendly chats, cooks up catch, repeat.

@RantyAunty

Not unusual at all.

Guy goes through his list of possibilities, sends them a message on sm, waits for a bite, reels them in with friendly chats, cooks up catch, repeat.

It was me who suggested meeting up. I didn't have any plans over the weekend and thought it would be fun (which it was, no complaints there)

I wouldn't have been against making it a semi regular thing but the not hearing anything from him today has made me change my mind.

Just out of curiosity, why is it his responsibility to contact you?

@Justmuddlingalong

Just out of curiosity, why is it his responsibility to contact you?

Good question/point!

Perhaps it's wrong of me to assume he should be the one to text because he's the bloke.

I'm not alone though, I know many women do the 'why hasn't he text' thing rather than just sending one themselves.

I might send one later on.

He's just liked a post on my Instagram so he might be wondering the same himself

Are you sure you want to keep it casual OP? It sounds like there might be more to it?

He probably thinks you used him for a hookup, which you kinda did really. It will be harder for him possibly being the one who got dumped, so don't rub his face in it, give him a Hi. If you made no promises, you haven't done anything too wrong, just be aware that men have feelings too, so check in he's OK about it being a casual thing regularly.

Are you sure you want to keep it casual OP? It sounds like there might be more to it?

Absolutely, our schedules made it difficult to maintain a serious relationship and nothing has changed in that regard. He's a great guy though, good company and very good in the bedroom.

I don't tend to have alot of ONS' / previous FWB and haven't for years and years, so I'm not really up to date with the associated etiquette.

He probably thinks you used him for a hookup, which you kinda did really. It will be harder for him possibly being the one who got dumped, so don't rub his face in it, give him a Hi. If you made no promises, you haven't done anything too wrong, just be aware that men have feelings too, so check in he's OK about it being a casual thing regularly.

You raise a good point. I didn't consider that. I'll send him a text now and thank him for a fun evening.

I got a cheery reply within minutes asking how my day has been, so thats nice

It's difficult territory I guess. What if he thinks that messaging might make you think he is looking for something more than FWB?

If I go out with actual friends I sometimes message to say thank you for lovely evening, sometimes not. I think it's nice but not essential. Maybe this is same?

@SummerHouse

It's difficult territory I guess. What if he thinks that messaging might make you think he is looking for something more than FWB?

If I go out with actual friends I sometimes message to say thank you for lovely evening, sometimes not. I think it's nice but not essential. Maybe this is same?

Yeah the sex complicates things for sure.

I think nothing of sending my female friends a text later in the evening or the following day, but when it's a bloke there's often alot of hand wringing and overthinking which is totally unnecessary most of the time.

Please be careful with his feelings. He jumped when you called and responded to your text quickly even after you left him after sex (treating him like a booty call). He may like you more than you like him. It sounds like you used him because you were bored and then left when you got what you wanted (you say you had to get home but also that you had no plans)

@user1471457751

Please be careful with his feelings. He jumped when you called and responded to your text quickly even after you left him after sex (treating him like a booty call). He may like you more than you like him. It sounds like you used him because you were bored and then left when you got what you wanted (you say you had to get home but also that you had no plans)

I didn't have plans (aside the one I made to meet him) I just couldn't stay overnight as I had to get back home to my DC who were being minded by a relative, plus school run early Monday morning etc. I wasn't in a massive rush but he did know I'd have to get back. Plus he had work early Monday morning himself so I don't think he was too miffed at me leaving.

I definitely don't want to hurt his feelings. I like him, he's a great guy.

If he's such a nice guy and you dumped him, aren't you worried about his feelings?? Bloody hell, make sure that he doesn't harbour any thoughts of you two getting back together .