Speaking to someone about DV - Trigger Warning

[stripepip]

Hi,
I don't know if anyone will recognise my name or situation but I made a post a few weeks ago about my dp shoving me to the ground etc. and this thread is just to say that I've just now spoken to my HV about it.

The wheels are in motion now and I'm so scared. We have a house, we are engaged and a 10 week old baby. I'm so scared about what's going to happen to my future. He's so sorry and I've pretended everything is fine. He has no idea that his worlds about to come crashing down.

Sorry this is so muddled, i don't know where my head is right now.

I love him so much and this is so painful. I hate using the word abuse because I love him so much

Please tell me I can rebuild my life from this. I don't know what is happening anymore. I am only 22 and I am scared

All credit to you for being strong enough to speak to your HV about him. I hope this person is helpful to you; speak to this person as often as you can as well as your GP.

Do also speak to Womens Aid here; they are very helpful. The Freedom programme they offer would also be helpful to you identify red flags in relationships far earlier.

Sadly you saw abuse when you were growing up (I read another thread of yours) and were shown a pretty poor relationship example at home. Seeing abuse or being otherwise abused are familiar to you and I note without much surprise that your previous relationship was abusive as well.

You are codependent in relationships and you're likely confusing love here with codependency. Am sure you "loved" your ex as well but he was abusive and you managed to leave him. You now have your child to consider here and that person cannot afford to grow up seeing you as their mum being abused.

You can rebuild your life and you as well as your child deserve a life free from being abused as you have been to date. As for your partner's world about to come crashing down, my concern is more for yours and your child's safety than what happens to him. His abuses towards you and in turn your 10 week old baby is all on him. Where he goes going forward is not your problem nor responsibility.

The only acceptable level of abuse in a relationship is none. Always remember this truism. You are also not a rehab centre for some badly raised man.

So pleased you are making steps to remove him from your life. It’s a dangerous situation to be in so you’re doing the right thing.

You’re 22. You have your whole life ahead of you and it will be a great one. Some enough, these feelings will pass you and your child will be safe and you can move on from it.

Do seek professional guidance and take as much help as you can. When you’re ready, some counselling will help too. Sending hugs in this difficult time x

I left am abusive relationship at your age.
He has only got himself to blame if 'his world comes crashing down'
He does not get to attack you. Good luck

It's gone horribly wrong.
He's so upset and my parents are upset that I told a professional

Are you planning to leave him. As now you’ve told the ss they have a duty to report to ss