Ex harassing by leaving gifts - apparently there's nothing to stop him?

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I am writing on behalf of a family member.

She split from her husband a few months ago (Not an amicable split, it was an abusive marriage and she finally reached the end)

Since then, he has been delivering gifts to the house, posting things from amazon, getting friends to drop stuff off. For both the kids and my family member.

It's completely fucking with their heads. Diamonds for her, spending hundreds on jewellery he never spent throughout their marriage, sending gifts and items for the kids, again, never did this before barely acknowledged their children when he actually lived with them.

Her teen son had a breakdown at the weekend, he feels he can't breath, his head is fucked, why is dad torturing us by sending stuff, why can't he leave us alone? It's making them afraid to leave the house as every time they are away, he leaves gifts.

Her solicitor said nothing can be done as the gifts and deliveries aren't nasty..how can this be the case? He is basically stalking her?

Does anyone have any advice?

Thanks in advance. I feel useless.

Has she contacted the police. Basically whilst non threatening the gifts are unwanted contact. I’d be seeking advice from the police rather than taking one opinion from a solicitor as the be all and end all to the matter. Police might not be able to do anything but might be able to have a word with him ans maybe log it on the system.

I’d refuse deliveries.

Return to sender.

Log everything.

Nonsense. This is harassment. It absolutely includes receipt of unwanted gifts.

She needs to go to the police.

By way of example:
www.avonandsomerset.police.uk/report/harassment-and-stalking/

It will turn soon. When he realises it hasn't WORKED and she's not coming back he will be furious.

Make the police aware because this is CLASSIC. iNSIST they log it because this always precedes the rage

My x did this. Too tight to spend money on diamonds, haha but omg, dandelions and chomps (cheap flowers, cheap chocolates) and then,when these efforts didn't bring me back to heal, cue the ANGER..................

CPS website says

Although harassment is not specifically defined in section 7(2) of the PHA, it can include repeated attempts to impose unwanted communications and contact upon a victim in a manner that could be expected to cause distress or fear in any reasonable person.

And then

A prosecution under section 2 or 4 requires proof of harassment. In addition, there must be evidence to prove the conduct was targeted at an individual, was calculated to alarm or cause him/her distress, and was oppressive and unreasonable.

If she tells him to stop and that's its causing her and her kids distress and he continues to do it, surely it can count as harassment?

Also have to ask, he hasn't been left about 8 weeks has he?

There's a male poster who keeps posting about trying to get his ex back, keeps sending her gifts.

My first thought was that you could take out a non-molestation order, as a previous poster has said, this is all unwanted contact.
Couple of links about non-mol orders:

www.gov.uk/injunction-domestic-violence/eligibility-non-molestation

www.ncdv.org.uk/non-molestation-order/

I would also recommend talking to the Police about it, it is harassment - ignore what your solicitor has told you.

Dump it all at a charity shop. Send ex a message the shop were very grateful...

The solicitor is talking nonsense. She needs to a) self refer to local DV services so she gets proper moral support and advice for the next steps
b) ask him to stop and warn him she will contact the police if they receive anything else or any further unwanted contact
c) keep a log of everything received
d) follow through on speaking to the police if there is any further harassment (there will be)
e) request that the police make a referral to victim support / local DV services to support with getting a non mol

She has had no contact since he left, he kept sending msgs and she blocked him. So she wouldn't be asking him to stop or that the charity shops are grateful, she wants no communication whatsoever as he'd use it to weasel his way back in.

No, not 8 weeks, it's been since before Christmas, I am trying not to give too much away incase his sisters would be on here. And if you are, you should be ASHAMED of yourselves.

She has notes of everything. She has it all in boxes in the garage. I wanted her to sell the expensive jewellery to buy oil for the house but she said she didn't want anything to do with it.

I will send her the CPS links. Thanks so much

He said he wouldn't accept a non mol, his solicitor said he's not doing harm. But this recent breakdown of the teenager shows hes causing mental and emotional damage.

Relative has contacted her solicitor again this morning, I believe she needs to contact the police, she's afraid of him.

There's too much to write and if his family were on here it would be top outing, but believe me when I say he is evil, abusive and will stop at nothing.

He told her before if she left he'd kill the children, she is terrified. He knows where she lives and leaves gifts but she's not allowed to knownwhere he is - she can't even serve divorce papers

Contact Women’s Aid and report it all to the police especially since he has given death threats.
This is stalking and abuse.
It is causing alarm and harm to you and the children.

@Squeezyhug

Contact Women’s Aid and report it all to the police especially since he has given death threats. This is stalking and abuse. It is causing alarm and harm to you and the children.

I contacted WA on her behalf at the beginning but they needed to speak to her, she didn't want to contact them incase they involved social services (who have been involved anyway as he made malicious claims against our family)

It's really frustrating trying to support someone when it seems they don't want to do anything but also want the gifts to stop.

We found out he'd been parking outside the children's after school activity last week but because there's no non mol she is helpless.

I can't understand how this works - if a stranger was sending her unwanted gifts surely its stalking why is it any different when it's her estranged husband?

I guess until she gets the confidence to phone the police it will keep happening.