Online dating dilemma..

[Surpriseparty1]

Have been online dating for a while. Sifted through a lot of crap and finally am talking to 2 guys that seem nice. I figured I don't need to be exclusive to one as no doubt they may also be chatting to others. The dilemma is I'm not sure what to do. It's easy to say to meet both of them and see how it goes. Without floating my own boat and sounding arrogant, I've recently lost a lot of weight and I feel I look a lot better than I used to. I know both of them are physically attracted to me. They could also not be attracted to me when meeting me also, appreciate it works both ways. My dilemma is which one to meet as I don't think I should meet both.
Bloke A is local, lives 5 minutes away from me, very attractive, good job, owns house, has kids and is amicable with ex. The thing that put me off him was that he dropped in conversation subtly that he likes a lot of intimacy with a partner when he's seeing someone.. That might not be possible for me as I'm a busy, single parent.. I'm attracted to him physically.
Bloke B lives further away, less attractive but not unattractive, has an older child, no amicable relationship with his ex, good job and rents his house. But the thing is, he's so so funny and has such a lovely personality from what I've learned talking to him. We just spoke back and forth over the weekend and he made me laugh so much. I can tell he would make a potential partner feel like she's a Queen. I'm less physically attracted to him but personality wise I'm more attracted to him simply because he's so funny.
I guess I don't know which one to meet. I know people will say just meet both and see how it goes, but I don't want to do that and potentially may have to let one down. Again I appreciate they may not like me either.
Please don't tell me I'm over thinking things either, I just know I want to choose one and pursue that further, trouble is.. Which one.
Help.

Meet both. You are dating - the first date is just sounding out if you like each other enough for a second.

Meet both, you will be glad you did

You haven't even met them so you can't know which ones you find physically attractive. At this stage it means nothing, chatting is simply exchanging a bit of info prior to meeting. Meet both for a day time coffee in a cafe for a short date and see what they are really like.

I'd lean more to B, because I've already got the ick from A saying he needs a lot of intimacy - whatever that means ( I'd guess dropping it in way too early and inappropriately that he likes lots of regular sex, crass when you haven even met yet )

OLD is a numbers game, meet both.

Definitely meet both!

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, and stop over investing in men you’ve not met. You can’t “tell [B] would make a potential partner feel like she's a Queen” because he’s a stranger, and he could just be one whose well practiced at saying what women want to hear. Meet both, and treat it as a casual finding out if they’re the person the profile says they are, not the first day of the rest of your life.

Meet both, don't over invest or create a picture of any OLD individual before meeting.

From what you've said, I don't know what A meant but if he's trying to set an expectation of how much sex he requires already, that is a bit offputting. For B, does the non- amicable relationship affect him now his kid is older? Both points are academic before meeting as you might like neither. You're not supposed to commit to someone, even mentally before meeting. They could be completely different in the flesh.

A making it clear sex is important to him wouldn’t bother me. Surely this is the point of chatting and dating, working out whether you’re compatible. In a relationship, I like daily sex. If somebody is more a once a week kind of guy, we’re not going to be compatible and I think it’s best to get that out in the open rather than coyly avoid mentioning sex and our expectations around it.

Meet both. Quickly no endless messaging. For one coffee each. Date both too afterwards if you feel like both have possible potential. It doesn’t need to be massively overthought at this stage.

You won’t “let one down” - it’s OLD!! People date numerous people. That’s the point.

Good grief woman, meet both of them!

Is feeling like a queen important to you? Perhaps revise that notion, you should be aiming to feel like an equal not put on a pedestal fgs. The way you talk actually could explain why you might hit problems.
Maybe look at what you want out of a relationship, write down the non-negotiables if you need to, then hold firm to them. Then it's how you get on, plus attraction. There may be a bit of further enquiry needed to find out why B doesn't get on with his ex - especially if DC involved. There might be good reasons.
Don't chat too long before meeting - about a week. You don't want to be over-investing in someone you haven't met yet, so quit notions of letting anyone down when you haven't met.

You sound like me when I started OLD - I thought people I met were probably going to turn into an option for dating etc. I didn't realise that of the people you met, a teeny tiny fraction you felt a click with when you met them, were anything like their online profile, felt the same way about you, and you wanted to see more of them.

Just meet both!

If you choose one and ‘let the other down’ you might find that you have ZERO chemistry with the one you have chosen. Then you may have missed the chance to meet the other one. Maybe meet one and then the other one the next night. Then you’re not spinning it out and can decide which to pursue.
I would find the mention of ‘intimacy’ gross though.

Yes, the mention of intimacy really put me off.. It's fair enough to lay that out after you've met but before is just Cringe

I wouldn't be meeting Mr intimacy - yuck !

I guess I don't know which one to meet. I know people will say just meet both and see how it goes, but I don't want to do that and potentially may have to let one down. Again I appreciate they may not like me either.
Please don't tell me I'm over thinking things either, I just know I want to choose one and pursue that further, trouble is.. Which one
Help

No point me replying then as I was going to say you're overthinking this and you should meet both.

I prefer people know sex is important to me ahead of time. I don't want to waste people's time otherwise. It's not an invitation to sleep with me, but it tells them this is important to me in a relationship.

I also think you should meet both. If you're determined to meet only one then meet the one you've not already taken the ick at.

This is like trying to decide which job offer you'll accept, before even going for an interview. You can't possibly know until you meet them both. You don't owe anything to either of them at this point so just meet up and see what happens.

You’ve made assumptions about
both before you’ve even laid eyes on them in person. Just meet both of them and see how you get on in person.

What? But online dating is not dating, it's getting to know people who you can meet in real life for coffe (max 30mins) to decide whether you want to have a proper date with them... Some of them will want to have a second date with you too.

What does feeling like a Queen even mean 🤔