[quote KaidensMum12]@frozendaisy How do I stop thinking like this though. All I think is maybe if I was better he wouldn't of done this (he actually said this to me as well) I know deep down I did everything I could to make us work but maybe if I was less paranoid or less insecure he wouldn't of had to look elsewhere. I was so wrapped up with working 3 jobs and looking after him and my children I felt so lost and now Iv lost everything [/quote]
You stop making excuses for him.
If you talk to people (adults) you tell them the truth. That you worked 3 jobs and tried to keep stuff together but that wasn't enough for the cheating arsehole.
And try and not measure your value in terms of being in a relationship. This new woman, time will wear out the new shinny smell.
It is unlikely you would have found peace if he came back, you would be suspicious, paranoid it would be far from anything called happy.
So the house is in your name, you have your kids, you are working.
Get practical.
You need time off to breathe.
Work out the childcare arrangements with him, and how much child maintenance he needs to give you.
Don't let him back in the house.
Change the house paint a room so he no longer knows what it looks like outside.
If he wants the kids X3 days a week or whatever he does the school runs on those days or pays more.
Delete any social media of him.
Start rinsing him away from your life piece by piece.