Handhold please - tomorrow I apply for decree absolute I never wanted.

[Whatonearth2021]

Just that really. 2 years to the day (yes it was the first week of lockdown) that my DH of 13 years told me he didn’t “want this relationship any more”, 6 months after upending what I thought was an amazing marriage with an office liaison, I am finalising the split.

For anyone in the early days - it does get better. The excruciating pain subsides to a dull ache that you can forget about for a while. Bit tonight I’m so sad. I don’t want to be divorced, or a single mum. Even though tomorrow will make no practical difference to anything. I just wish, for once, there was someone to hug me and tell me it would be ok. Being strong for 3 wonderful DS is my priority. But now they are asleep, and I need some strength for me. Sorry for the wallow.

You’ve got this mumma. Just remember that although you don’t want to be a single mum, to be a woman in a marriage with a man who doesn’t want or appreciate you is far worse. You will find a new sense of self, a real feeling of independence and one day, if it’s something you want, you’ll meet someone who will remind you once again that love exists and you’ll be thankful that tomorrow happened forevermore xxx

Sending you good thoughts, OP. You can absolutely do this.

I felt the same way - a divorce was the last thing I wanted, but ultimately it was the best thing I could have done.
Many years later, my philosophy is that he and OW deserve each other.
And I'm free of all of the drama, worry and upset.
It's not easy, but it does get better.

I can't hug you. But I can tell you that it will be ok. That you will get through this. Stay strong.

I just wanted to send you love and strength. I've been there, it's beyond tough. My absolute remains in its envelope, I have never been able to look at it. Ultimately my divorce was the best thing for my son and I and I married somebody who was not the person I thought he was. It doesn't make it any less painful. You will get there, it does get easier

Thank you all for your kindness and sharing your stories. I’m so sorry that some of you have gone through similar. But yes I will dig deep and I know I’ll get through this and onto better things. 💪😅