How do you make friends as an adult?

[kyliecat]

Since leaving school I haven't really made any proper friends, and lost touch with old ones.

Since then, I have had work friends but these are just professional friendships and seem to fizzle out when I or they move on, even if I try to keep it going. But work friends always tend to be a few decades older than me (not that I mind that).

I am also about to start a job that's largely working from home.

So I am a 30 year old woman with no friends. I don't have Kids so I can't meet other mums etc. i have tried to join local clubs etc but these seem to be dominated by much older people past retirement age.

How does a woman of my age make friends?

I have made friends via business events, and hobbies. Shared interests are a good starting point. Take a look on eventbrite and similar sites for things to do, and meetup has hobby-themed meetings too.

I did a big community project and met so many people. Also owning a dog and being chatty and letting on to everyone.

Have you tried looking on Meetup? There are get togethers for people with all sorts of interests. I have been browsing it myself and although I haven't been to any meetups yet, I plan to once I have built up the confidence.

Hobbies or groups which are inherently social such as book clubs or walking groups, or activities/sports were chatting as you go along is normal, kayaking for example. If there are adult art, pottery or sweing courses where you live, then those are good because it's easy and natural to chat as you're doing the activity. Also volunteering and neighbourhood projects are good places to meet a range of people.

Sewing, not sweing.

Hobbies.

I play a few instruments and am quite musical so, over the years, I've joined orchestras and bands. I've met quite a few people through my current band and I've been asked to dep for/join other bands which widens my social circle.

I joined a choir when I was 31. Yes, most of the women were a bit older than me but I made one really good friend 12 years younger than me who is still my closest friend 16 years on.

Swing dancing, esp Lindy Hop, is good. Lots of people ranging in age from 20s to retirement and a great social dance scene.

I met a lot of women through feminist campaigning activities, going along to meetings & getting involved in groups.

Tbh, if you are upon, don't have children and your evenings are free, there are literally hundreds of things you could do!

I never made lasting friends on the school run. In my 23 years of being a parent, I have become friendly enough with a couple of women to meet for coffee and share lifts to hobbies etc but having children was more of a hindrance than a help in making friends!

OP try downloading the Bumble App , it has a feature specifically to find local friends, I'm 29 and used it about a year ago when I moved to a new area, met some really nice people on it and found it helpful, as you know the other women on it have also downloaded to meet local friends.

Maybe also try girl guiding as an adult volunteer, you volunteer with the same women each week to run the unit, so friendships can build that way,

Not Bumble BFF in my experience. Full of time wasters. Maybe you’ll have better luck!

Gym, do classes and get chatting often people have coffee or a drink afterwards I have tons of friends from classes.

I joined a running club

Tbh I don’t think having kids makes it any easier, everyone said I would make loads of friends once mine started school but it just never happened! The only other thing is apps but they are a bit too cringey and forced for my liking. I think if you don’t have kids it might be easier to make friends as you can go to groups easily and be more available to meet up.

I think starting an activity is a useful way. I’ve made some lovely friends through an informal swim group I joined online.

It is hard though. I’m in my 30s and really struggle to make friends. Partly because I’m pretty skyward socially and partly because I tend to automatically dislike a lot of people (unfairly).

I’ve made friends through a friendship group similar to meet-up, someone on Gumtree posted she wanted friends, we met up and clicked and were friends for almost 10 years. I’d try meet up.

Hobbies and a choir are good. I never actually made friends at yoga as I went with 2 neighbours who were also friends.

Local community groups can be a good idea, one I know was asking for volunteers to run their local fair. I chat to anyone and am “friends” loosely with clothes shop owners, i could develop the friendships but honestly I can’t be bothered!

I've made friends volunteering at parkrun - and you don't need to be a runner.

I've made new friends recently via my dog, puppy class and from going to a local field.

2 of my best friends are old work mates and we built that by going out for dinner after work.

Meet up is another good one or you could volunteer somewhere.

Volunteer.

Though I have kind of lost the will to make the effort after two years of COVID imposed isolation (with my family, but I have no friends in our current city).

Another one to suggest meet up
I m in a new area and don’t have much spare time but they run all sorts of events and can be hobby led as well. I have started to develop some friendships although it does take time and trust to build up friendships . You can arrange to meet the host beforehand if you are worried about going alone at the first time.

As said, hobbies. I joined an outdoorsy women’s group last year and they do loads of events and it has a a good way to meet people

I’ve made some lovely friends through an informal swim group I joined online. how do you do this via zoom?

Hobbies
Volunteering
Campaign Groups
Fundraising Groups
Evening classes
Sport
Church / Mosque / Temple / Gurdwara / etc
Studying / learning something new
Interest groups

It has to be hobbies. I made one friend from having kids. You still have to have things in common for a school mum friendship to blossom. That’s why hobby groups work. Everyone is there for the same reason. Try photography or something arty? Maybe younger people involved

I've met friends either directly or indirectly via volunteering & sea swimming. I moved to a new town hours away from anyone I knew 4 years ago when I was 50 & have made lovely friends now.

You will need to make more of an effort though op now you are WFH. I WFH and it can be quite isolating long term so seeking out social contact is even more important.

Go for it.