Dating profile

[ivebeenbumbled]

Said I'd never do this, but here we are! My colleague had success on Bumble and said to give it a go.

I have no idea what to write, or how jokey to be. I've filled in a couple of the prompt questions, but I've no idea what to write in the bio, or whether my prompt question answers are shit.

I've said I'm interested in design, yoga, and the gym. Truth is, I've joined the gym last month and been once, I do yoga once a week because my friend is training to be a teacher, and I've been once to a jewellery workshop (I do intend to go again, but further afield). But it feels a bit exaggerated. Compete bullshit, you might say.

How much should I write about myself, my parental status, and what I'm on there for?

Help please 🙏

PS - on reflection, there's no doubt the prompt answers are shit

@ivebeenbumbled what type of thing have you written for your prompts?

Liking your profile. If you were male I'd be into you 🍷

Another vote for Hinge.

@lesgalettes

If I could back to any time, it would be the 80's for the music, and that the world would be a better place with more... kindness. I have also acknowledged that that is a terrible cliche!

Oh, and thank you @PermanentTemporary! I appreciate that

Sounds good. I'm doing mine, but it's all so contrived- I am cringing at what I am writing.

Do you think that exaggerating the truth (aka being a bit fake/lying) is a good way to get a man who will most be suited to you, your interests and your lifestyle? Let's consider this literally - do you want a gym-going, yoga practicing designer partner?

Maybe you should start with what you actually most weekends, even if this means staying at home watching Netflix or just being with friends.

[quote ivebeenbumbled]@lesgalettes

If I could back to any time, it would be the 80's for the music, and that the world would be a better place with more... kindness. I have also acknowledged that that is a terrible cliche! [/quote]
I think that's fine. You're more likely to attract a similar partner this way.

Also, 80's music is great. 😎

@EarthSight

Do you think that exaggerating the truth (aka being a bit fake/lying) is a good way to get a man who will most be suited to you, your interests and your lifestyle? Let's consider this literally - do you want a gym-going, yoga practicing designer partner?

Maybe you should start with what you actually most weekends, even if this means staying at home watching Netflix or just being with friends.

I see what you're saying, but these are things I genuinely intend to pursue, for the foreseeable.

I realised during lockdown that I have no hobbies, etc. I really loved the jewellery making, but it's expensive to learn and I've just got my finances sorted following a house move.

The gym - I hurt my ankle so haven't been, but will be back.

The yoga, I'll keep going as long as my friend needs me, and also if she gets her own class up and running.

I don't particularly care what a guys physical hobbies are. I'm happy for someone who'll just go the odd decent walk, or hire a bike with me somewhere. I certainly don't want to go to the gym or do yoga together. Can't think of anything worse

I confess I am a man - fat and ten years older - reading this for insight. Well done getting a good spiel written but I have to say just getting out on your bike ( hope the ankle gets well soon) and a decent walk is probably every thing lots of genuine guys would want. People need to feel people and feel felt a bit imho. Anyway. Best of luck. Sorry to intrude.🙂

@GrowingSlowly so do you think what I've written would put people off?

To be honest I think the pictures matter more than anything else!

You want one of your face close up with no filter.
One of your body full length.
One of you with friends / family.
One of you doing something you love (just out for dinner / drinks / wedding / holiday etc)
All within a year of when you post them.

Write something lighthearted - always easier to ask your bestie what to write in a bio.

Also write what you want to find! Fine to say no hook ups/ casual etc. "Not looking to rush into anything but would love to find a long term relationship down the line. Not into casual / hook ups, just not my cup of tea!"

Interests and hobbies don't matter that much, as long as you have some. Tbh I'd be put off someone with a v time consuming hobby!!!

@ivebeenbumbled

Thoughts please?

"First of all, saying I’m interested in the gym, was, at this stage, an outright lie. I’ve joined (again) and I’m trying. Never let it be said that I got you here under false pretences!

I’ve recently started yoga as my friend is training to be a teacher, and I’m also hoping to attend some more jewellery courses, having done that last year.

Just looking for someone to laugh with, and try new things with. Basically, I’m here to see if that whole “Life begins at 40” cliche might be true!"

Say what you're looking for!

Currently on these myself and it must be a regional thing as from my experiences :

Tinder : few matches, few conversations one or two dates

Bumble : 1-2 matches. One threat of a date that never materialised

Hinge : nothing .... no match or convo or anything

Facebook dating : lots of matches / likes but nothing as yet

If I like the look of a person I'll read her bio etc, unfortunately that's the way most seem to be from both sides

A local bar had arranged a speed dating night a few weeks ago ... but had to cancel as it was basically only women that signed up to attend.
Which is a shame as a few single friends I've spoken to about this all say the old fashioned in person way to meet is better.

[quote ivebeenbumbled]@GrowingSlowly so do you think what I've written would put people off? [/quote]
No. Not at all. What you wrote is brilliant.
My comment was not intended as a criticism.
Putting yourself out there and taking the plunge is a big thing for anyone. I am really not a judge of these things. They seem to rely on keeping people messaging and clicking. See podcast link. Just actually getting out a walk with company without expectations sounds refreshingly human by comparison. Happy hunting and reinventing and I hope you love being you and find yourself loved for it too. Good luck.

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0014gjd

@D0lphine

I have said what I'm looking for? And I've chosen relationship when it asks that specific question.

Re photos, I've only added 2. For the full body from about 9 months ago, but the facial is a good few years old 🙈 Although I've not drastically changed.

Very few recents photos, and don't want to put up ones with friends/family as they might not appreciate that. I imagine ones with my son are not the best option.

I think you’ll need more photos. If I see a profile with only one or two photos my immediate thought is that they haven’t included more because they’re trying to hide something by only using the one or two flattering ones they have. Go out with a friend and ask them to take some nice shots of you. Walking in the park, sitting in a cafe, enjoying yourself. I’m not suggesting you’re deluded - but honestly, I’d practically be writing this from my beach house in the Bahamas if I had £10 for every story I know of about an OLD man with old photos on his profile who shows up looking very much those years older than his photos whilst claiming people tell him he hasn’t changed a bit.

Noted @ComtesseDeSpair i have found one more I could use, and then I'll need to start from scratch.

Blimey. Why do guys in their late 30's/early 40's think a photo of them sticking up their middle finger or making oral sex gestures is the way to get matches?

Anyway, gone incognito already

@mrgoodatfixingrhings

Men and women experience online dating very very differently. So womens experiences on here may sound very different to your experiences.

You could use photos with friends or family and just edit and crop them out of the photo...

How does the incognito work? I guess you swipe on men and just hope that the same men swipe back on you? One good thing would be that I assume that you won't be able to match with incognito men, who may be more likely to be dodgy?

Obv just my opinion bit...

Your bio reads like you want casual, is that right? Having a laugh implies casual. If you want an actual relationship you need to say so.

You need recent photos otherwise if you go in a date the person might be pissed off before you've even opened your mouth. (I speak from experience of turning up to dates and being instantly furious.)

Take some photos in the next couple of weeks. You can put smiley emojis over peoples faces if you're concerned about that. Realistically most peoples faces are all over social media anyway so I don't really see an issue with using them!

@D0lphine
Yes definitely
It's interesting to hear about other peoples experiences and stories from OLD.