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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Did I do right here .

9 replies

stillvicarinatutu · 27/03/2022 17:20

I'm a single woman . Been single for a few years now , tried online dating but hasn't gone great for me .
I have a "friend" who I once had a quickie with then we both moved on but stayed friends.
He has been with someone for a good few years.
We remained friends .
He came over this week saying he was now in an "open" relationship as his partner has said she is done with sex , I'm not massively attracted to him or anything but we ended up having sex .
He then back peddled like fury and said although he had the "green light" to seek sex elsewhere he hadn't ever done it and now felt guilty and would have to process what he had done . He leant over touching my hand to say this "wasn't on me"
Too fucking right it wasn't .
The more I think about it the more angry I feel . He was bullshitting wasn't he? If they'd discussed it why would he feel guilty and why would he even tell me ?
I don't have many friends since moving house and location and job - but I've blocked him .
He was lying wasn't he ? He wanted a shag , hadn't actually told his partner and felt shit after and in telling me that made me feel bad too -
That what's happened here isn't it ?
I've done right blocking and not wanting to know him haven't I ?

I feel a bit shit as been stood up tonight on a date from O.l.d he said he'd booked a restaurant but hadn't messaged since Friday so I've not even got ready .
I don't need that kind of friend tho do I . ?

OP posts:
SpinningTheSeedsOfLove · 27/03/2022 18:14

You've done the right thing by blocking him, yes. What an absolute arsehole he is.

stillvicarinatutu · 27/03/2022 18:28

It's disappointing. We'd been friends a lot of years. Then I realised he was just a selfish lying arse .

OP posts:
HellToTheNope · 27/03/2022 18:30

Of course he was lying.

stillvicarinatutu · 27/03/2022 18:32

I realise he was lying now but I didn't have him as a cheat or a liar so bit of a shock .

OP posts:
Silverclocks · 27/03/2022 18:33

I don't think the OLD has necessarily stood you up though. If you made arrangements on Friday and he said he's booked a table, I'd expect that was that and he's expecting you to be there as agreed. That's only the day before yesterday!

stillvicarinatutu · 27/03/2022 18:35

No we didn't firm things up he was picking me up - then nothing . I've been stood up .

OP posts:
stillvicarinatutu · 27/03/2022 18:38

He is also 15 years younger so I'm guessing he's had a better offer . There is no way I'm embarrassing myself turning up at a restaurant in the hope he's going - he said he would pick me up . He only lives a few miles away . It went from messaging several times a day to nothing yesterday and nothing today .

OP posts:
stillvicarinatutu · 27/03/2022 19:49

Definitely stood up . Rang restaurant- wasn't even booked . He lied . Glad I didn't just turn up ! God almighty some (most ) appear to be shits .

OP posts:
stillvicarinatutu · 27/03/2022 19:51

Anyway . So stood up and lost a friend within 24 hours !

Daughters blokes birthday tomorrow bought him a craft beer gift card which turns out to be the wrong brand .
Think I'm off to bed !

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