Depression caused by a narcissist

[newstart2022]

Looking for some help.
I am stuck in a really vicious cycle with a narc.
Everytime I build myself up to split from him he pulls it back and is lovely and I seem to get drawn into this , then out of the blue he lies - an insignificant lie but I find out question him, he rages and says he is leaving etc and it puts me into a weird panic. I feel frozen and I can’t explain how bad I feel.
It’s been going on for years and I can see I need to step away but it’s like a weird addiction.
He also throws someone else into the equation now and again( another woman) I don’t actually think she is interested, they are in a club together.
This gets me jealous and upset and further into this horrible depression.
Never encountered anything like this.
This is only a tiny bit of his behaviour:(

I really feel for you OP. Look up intermittent reinforcement and triangulation.
Do you live with him?
No contact,cold turkey is the way but it is very difficult. I have done it and been there and still recovering, but I'm a year on and 'escaped' . Do you have support? You are right it is like a drug and a habit. You can do this, it's not worth your sanity, noone is

So you say "I've had enough "woman at club" is welcome to you I'm leaving"

Do you think staying with a partner who actually causes you depression is a good thing?

Just think about it with a clear cool head.