How can I sleep with my husband again?

[DontWannaMiss]

Trivial thread alert, I just mean sleeping in the same room!

We've been sleeping in separate bedrooms since our second child was born. He stayed in our bedroom so he could get a full night sleep and I've been on a double bed with DD in bedside crib as I breastfeed.

She's 6 months now so thought I ought to move back in. I just tried it for the first time tonight and less than and hour later I've escaped and gone back to DD's room.

I felt so irritated by his breathing and having no space to move around argh!

Sleep is a touchy subject as I got anxiety and insomnia after the birth of both DC. I have been fine for weeks now, DD barely wakes and I've been getting great sleep.

I think I've just been worried I wouldn't readapt to the other room and sleep would go all wrong again so it's been a self fulfilling prophecy.

Will I ever like sleeping beside my husband again? Any tips? Shall I just keep doing what gets me the most sleep for now and not worry about it?

Yes. Keep doing what works now and don't worry about it!!

Ear plugs and a Sleep meditation app! It’s important to keep your baby happy but would be nice to cuddle up to your hubby again.

Guess he'll have to lure you back if he wants you in there. Id leave it up to him if youre happy as you are.

We're in separate rooms for sleep, I bloody love it. I've just booked a holiday with twin beds. I like my own space. I feel no need to sleep on the same bed!

My bf and I have never slept in the same room , its great. Still do it about 4 times a week - at least! Sorry for tmi but its fine . Do what works best for you

Get a bigger bed. Once we had two DC we got a king size bed, not just for me & DH but the kids loved coming in on a weekend morning, cuddles and TV. They are now teenagers but the youngest (13) still snuggles in now and again.

I didn't go back to 'our' bed for nearly 3 years. DS was ebf and a terrible sleeper, DH is a light sleeper. It was the only way we all survived. It's fine as long as you're both happy with it.

We have a super king, and I make sure to go to bed slightly earlier to wind down and put my silicone earplugs in! Tesco sell them, they're amazing! My husband grew up in a noisy house and often falls asleep with the TV on so I make my little nest and I'm usually asleep before he comes to bed. If not, having the bigger bed definitely helps. We're expecting our first baby so God knows what'll happen then 😂

It's very hard to get used to a big adult again after a baby next yo you. I'm heat sensitive so feel like I'm in bed with a radiator now. We downgraded from super king to king 18months ago and I'm still irritated 😄
I am a touch me not sleeper though I like a cold space to myself

DH and I haven’t slept in same room since he got Covid in Mar 2020. We tried it a couple of times but both agreed we sleep better in separate rooms. We joke we are aristocrats with their separate bedrooms.

Thanks all, makes me feel like I'm not too weird!

I'm feeling the pressure as DD is outgrowing the crib so we need to move her to the big cot and once we do there won't be any space for the double bed in her room, and we have no other spare room.

Dh has always snored and I'd trained myself to sleep through it but I'm out of the habit now and it really bothers me now! Especially when i know I could also be woken up any minute by one of the children, I need peace and comfort!

Some great suggestions here, I think I need to go to bed and fall asleep before him and its probably time we got a bigger bed!

I was so stressed by it all last night it took me ages to fall asleep, im shattered today even though both kids slept brilliantly, what a waste!

I totally understand your reasons for leaving the bedroom but It can be a very slippery slope! I have 3 different sets of friends who are currently getting divorced, they all started sleeping in different bedrooms for similar reasons as you but it has lead to divorce, in all 3 cases the men started cheating. Whether this was the reason I don't know but men do like to have their wives in bed with them.

@Dolly925

I totally understand your reasons for leaving the bedroom but It can be a very slippery slope! I have 3 different sets of friends who are currently getting divorced, they all started sleeping in different bedrooms for similar reasons as you but it has lead to divorce, in all 3 cases the men started cheating. Whether this was the reason I don't know but men do like to have their wives in bed with them.

Is this for real?

As someone who’s DH snores, I absolutely love not sleeping in the same room as him. It’s fucking glorious.

His snoring nearly broke me along with the dcs waking up as babies and toddlers. I’d settle the dcs then go back and he’d be snoring. Making it hard to get back to sleep.

You need 3 things:
Super king size bed
Separate single duvets
Noise machine like the Dohm

Also can OH get help re snoring? Does he need to lose weight?

You could move your daughter straight to a double bed rather than a cot. It's what I did with DS and it's worked fine for us
(We have a super low bed so no worries about falling out)

I understand where you're coming from;My DH worked night shifts for years so when he changed to days about 18 months ago it was and still is at times hard to adapt as I was use to only spending 2 nights or so each week in bed at the same time as him.

He's a snorer/duvet hogger/farter/wriggler and I sometimes crave a room of my own but alas that's not happening.

Maybe you can try half the week in your marital bedroom and half in the spare room?