Can you just be friends after catching feelings

[friyayfeeling]

I've been seeing someone for the last 6 months knowing it could never go where we now want it to. No affairs / cheating or other people involved before anyone asks, we just can't be together. It was only suppose to be a bit of fun to begin with. Only we've messed up and really fallen for each other. We've called it off and said we'll just be friends. This won't involve seeing each other I don't think as it will be too hard, just more chatting still over messages. I'm just not sure that can even work now. I am so sad and he's having to take control of the situation and stand strong for us both. Is the only option really to delete him from my phone and forget about him? N how can I make it easier.

Why don’t you just get together if you have fallen for each other? If neither of you are attached it seems a bit of a waste not to. The obstacle can be overcome, for a slice of joy, surely?

Life's too short, OP. Find a way.

I think two people who have feelings can become friends but it will take time. It depends on how friendly you want to be with him in the future. Friendly enough to hang out with each other or friends as in social media friends?
It will take time and if you’re hurting then it would be best to keep some distance for a while just so you can try get over your feelings.
Nothing wrong with a check in text every now and then but it might make you feel more upset than good.
Hope you’re okay!

I'm in the middle of something similar.

6months+ with a lovely guy, the happiest I've ever been ever, but I have three young kids all under 7, and there's no way in hell I'd ever move a man into their home, however lovely he is. I'm happy to date, but not to make anyone a permanent feature in their lives, and definitely never to move someone into their home.

But he wants a partner to live with, and build a life with, not an "every other weekend and after 8pm when the kids are asleep" type relationship. So we ended it, I can't be what he needs.

It's hard for us both. I've had to delete and block him on everything, to stop myself messaging him. And made a "notes" section on my phone where I could write all the things I wanted to send him but wouldn't. Then I've now deleted that and stopped doing it, because tbh it makes me think of him more if I have an outlet for my thoughts. So I'm just being super busy and distracting myself, then leaving my phone upstairs in the evenings so it's not near me. Time will heal it all, eventually.

It's just such a mess, it was never suppose to get to this.
We've chatted for the last few hours I've cried and cried some more. I feel better while we're talking as I want him there but I know it's not good in the long run as he can't be there how he was.
He's coming round tomorrow, I want to give him a cuddle and say goodbye, have some closure. I think I'm going to block him once he's left or I'm going to be in a viscous circle of asking him to come back again and getting upset all over again.
I totally understand the children situation, I am in a similar situation although that's not the main issue here. I also can't imagine bringing someone in to my children lives when it's just been us for 7 years.
I feel so sad.

So what is the issue?

All quite dramatic if no real reason.

Yes it does feel quite dramatic to me right now actually thank you. I'm most upset by it. A very real reason that will cause a big family fall out im not going in to it as family members are on here. It's a choice of him or the family.
The question was about remaining friends not the reasons behind why we can't be together.

No you can't be friends with someone you want to be with.