Starting out at 40

[latelove]

I have just turned 40, and have been in love only twice. First love until I was 19, then met someone else straight away. I messed that up, years later so did he, and I just never got over him. He passed last month and it still hurts and haunts me.

But I am starting to realise just how lonely I have made my life. And I don't want that. I have friends, plenty of them, but I want someone just for me.

I've always been against OLD, but starting to think it's my only option. But I have so little to say on a bio! And I think I'm too fussy. That no-one will make me laugh like the first two, that I just won't ever feel that way again.

Anyway, I guess what I'm looking for is for posters to tell me it can still happen. That they know this, because it happened for them.

Life to short ..... Just embrace life ..
So living in the past.
Everyone has teenage love which is in intense because you are young .
Stop thinking to much and go on dates ..
7 billion people on the planet . Don't compare with previous love ..
Apples and pears !

The very first love is very much still with us and my feelings for him are long gone, although we still get on.

I also meant to ask, for OLD suggestions. I've been reading up reviews of Match and POF, but they're hardly glowing.

Do you want children (or have them already)?

I have one. He's nearly 18. And he's plenty

I'm kidding. I've been so lucky with him. But I'm definitely done.

Your DS is grown and you are only 40! Do you know how lucky you are?!!!

I’m 45 and currently dating a lovely man for just under two years. I was married for almost 10 years. I met him on Hinge. He is, without a doubt, one of the biggest loves of my life. But you know what, OP? I only met him for a first date as I thought he might be interesting. He turned out to be quite the opposite of everyone I have ever dated. But I adore him and the feeling’s mutual. We might not last forever (only because our ‘lifestyles’ are very different) but I am loving every minute. So it can happen. But be open-minded. My life was complete before I met him and will still be complete if we broke up but he definitely adds to my life right now..

One of my exes died a couple of years in tragic circumstances and that can really throw you. Take some time to grieve but learn and grow in your relationships. I certainly am still learning about myself and my relationships and I’m older than you! All the best.

I met my partner on POF. We own a home together and have a 3 month old baby.
Never base it on other people’s experiences of OLD, you have to experience it yourself.
Yes, you might have to kiss a few frogs, but meeting my parent was the best thing that ever happened to me. So just go for it, what have you got to lose?

Partner not parent!

I really don't feel very lucky right now.

Congratulations on your new baby @Jenhen89

Bumble is really good.

Random men can't just speak to you. You have to swipe them first. As a Result men are more polite.

Why not try it and see? Aim to have a laugh and see what happens!

I split up with my exH 7 years ago. We had been married for 19 years at that point. I did some OLD, just for a confidence boost as much as anything. I went on a LOT of dates, had a lot of fun, and really built my confidence back up.

I put the things I really liked in my bio - I like gin, military history, horse racing and chocolate brazils. If nothing else, it was a conversation starter! Don't look at dating as trying to find The One, look at it as just having some fun and finding out what you like in a new man.

As it happens, despite my many, many dates, I found my exP and current DP the "traditional way" - through work. I worked with my exP, and my current P was a friend of a work friend.

I’d do it! But just see it as a dip a toe in, meet a few people, have some nights out. Don’t put too much pressure on it and expect a bit of a rollercoaster at times. See each first meeting as a date zero rather than first date (just a quick coffee/drink to see if there’s chemistry in person). Don’t get too carried away with potential feelings before you meet in person. And join the dating thread on here! It helps so much to have advice and support from others. I think all the dating sites are as good and bad as the rest so Id start with free ones. Some people advise to go for paid sites but i didn’t find them any better and met my DP of 6 years on tinder in the end. I’d probably start with bumble.

Okay. If I start setting up a Bumble, will it be pretty obvious to me when I'm making it "live"?

Going to have a look tonight, to occupy my mind more than anything. I don't want to be out there yet!

Can someone answer my question about going live? It's says my profile is 39% complete, and I can see profiles, but I haven't confirmed my email. I don't want it to go live yet 🙈