Partner doesn't 'feel like themselves' anymore

[S0methingInTheWay]

Recently my partner split up with me as they said they no longer feel like themselves with me anymore and are obviously really upset about it. I hate that they felt like this while being with me and the separation has made me super depressed. We have spoken about it and they were very quick to say its nothing at all to do with the relationship as they still care for me, they just dont know if they can be with me anymore. I dont feel like myself anymore, I feel like part of me is missing. I have no idea if we're going to get back together (they hinted there may be a slight possibility but they dont know how they're going to feel with time). We're still in contact but rarely talk.
I'm just so lost, I dont know what to do. I was hoping someone here may have felt similarly to my partner and could give me some perspective? Or if someone who's been in a similar situation can give me some tips. Thank you.

Sounds like they tried to muster up a reason to split.

All you can do is assume your break up is permanent and move forward like that.

You might find if your ex ever did get back in touch wanting "to try again" or "I didn't find anyone better" you might not want to by then.

Don't waste your life waiting, wanting someone who doesn't feel the same.

The issue lies with them, not you. It is similar to people who leave a relationship ‘to find themselves’. They are feeling lost or confused about what they want in life. But it’s definitely not to do with you and it isn’t your responsibility to make it any different.

Move forwards. Identify your own goals and achieve them. Don’t let this person hold you back by taking responsibility for their lack of direction / identity.

Move forward and cut contact. He has all but said that his life will be better without you in it.

Finding yourself bit his horse shit

At worst he won’t do a thing and drift away as he would do anyway. At kinda best he will find you to be someone to be won.

At very best you’ll let him kick rocks in your dust. You have to walk away because no means no. And he has said how he feels.

Be glad, you wouldn’t want him anyway. Rise from this with the knowledge that you know yourself, and you won’t suffer anyone who is a waste of time. You have yourself to worry about.

They’re trying to let you down gently, but it’s over. Don’t message them and see how long it takes them to get in touch with you.

I broke up with someone for this reason. I didn't like who I was with him, I didn't feel he brought out the best in me and I could see myself heading towards a future where I wasn't going to be my best self. None of this was his fault, I certainly didn't bring out the best in him, and as much as he loved me and he couldn't see it at the time, I wasn't being good enough to him, I took him for granted etc.

Despite all this he is the most wonderful person who is now with someone else and has kids and is really happy. I know he will be an amazing father and husband, but he just wasn't right for me. We could have stayed together easily and ambled on but I don't think our future would have been the happy outcome we now have with other partners.

So don't take it personally, it hurts now but he has done you a favour...inwards and upwards for you ❤️

Also, I was devastated when I broke up with him so he found it hard to understand why I was doing it. But I was devastated because I was losing my best friend, not because I was losing the man of my dreams.

I think you need to prepare yourself for it being permanent. They have tried to leave you without hurting your feelings. Problem is that's left you with hope that they might come back, which will prolong the pain and confusion for you.

Don't hang around waiting for someone to deign to want to be with you. Surely you would rather be with someone who has no doubts? Throw yourself in to singledom. Enjoy being you. Resist any urges to get in touch with them, it won't help you.

What @JustKittenAround says….

Rise from this with the knowledge that you know yourself, and you won’t suffer anyone who is a waste of time

Yes. You have the upper hand here. You know what you want. Don’t waste your time and energy on ditherers or people ‘needing to find themselves’. I have a good friend who has a habit of doing this. They don’t know what they want and don’t want what they have. Move forwards without him.