Should I speed up my exit?

[plotmissinginaction]

I have been planning a soft and slow wriggle free from my relationship. He name calls, swears, loses his temper a lot and it's unpleasant. I feel constantly on edge. I felt I could hang on though, I didn't feel I was in physical danger, just emotionally unsafe. 2 kids, he is the main earner and I wanted the time to try and get as much in order as possible.

Tonight he kicked the dog. He was in one of his rages and the dog was annoying him. He says he pushed him with his foot . The dog cried out though so either way I am not ok with it. Also, a bit thrown and wondering if I should start speeding things up. He does feel terrible now. I don't know. I just wasn't expecting him to do something like that and it has made me very uneasy.

There will be no better time than now. You could keep saving money or putting plans in place, but in the meantime the abuse continues and your family are in danger.

I think you have mixed me up with another poster. I have never posted anything in relation to the dog before now. I do remember that particular thread and that is a different person.

I am going to get in touch with Women’s Aid and work out what I can do practically. I am finding it hard to think clearly and I think it will help clarify things for me.

That’s a great idea OP. My mum didn’t get out. We spent our whole life with his nastiness. Your kids and you deserve better.

Yes. Please speed up your exit. There is never the right or perfect time to leave.

I left my ex DP after he called our son a 'fucking prick' and a 'fucking bastard' - son had just started school but I got my mum to pick us up and enrolled him in one near her.

I could cope with his name calling, aggressive (he said frustrated) behaviour, swearing, generally being unreliable and rude but it stopped when he took it out on our child because he accidentally broke the tv. Ex DP was instantly remorseful when I told him to get out, and then tried justifying it that his mates would have done the same thing. Not under my roof you don't.

Not all abusive exes come crawling back though. Mine hasn't attempted once, but insists ours was a toxic relationship and I shouldn't blame him for how it went (admits he made mistakes but also blames those mistakes on other things) and take responsibility. We are now very low contact after he spent months messaging me daily and being enmeshed in my life before looping me in when him and his new girlfriend had a blip, getting me to feel emotionally sympathetic to him and then told
me to fuck off out of his life when they resolved it. Generally he's stayed away and never tried to get back together.

Just to update you that I got up early today so that I could send an email. It's just gone now. Very hard to write and I feel weird now but hopefully, they can give me some clear steps to get things moving as I feel so overwhelmed right I don't think I can see what I should be doing.

Thank you to those of you who were kind in your responses on this thread. The last couple of days were particularly hard and I think I needed those supportive thoughts to keep me going.

Well done; you've done the right thing.