Trusting someone after a previous spouse betrayed you

[WTF475878237NC]

I am struggling at the moment ladies. A few things have got me triggered (spouse has to go away with work for the first time in years) and it's all coming back. You know the feeling of devastation and all the memories of that painful time. I have got it into my mind that I can't be intimate with my spouse until he has had STI tests even though he has given me no reason whatsoever to suspect he's been or will be unfaithful when away. It's all in my mind based on past "work trips" (when I was betrayed by someone else, a man I never thought would hurt me).

What can I do?

How woukd you feel if your partner came back from his work trip and asked for you to have an STI check because they were betrayed in a previous relationship?

Therapy, for sure! It's impossible to overcome this on your own. Logic, as the other poster suggests, has no chance against the anxiety.

Therapy definitely.

You can't ask your current partner for an STD test.

Something like EMDR could work really well for you. You suffered a serious trauma and EMDR can work at processing those memories and lessening their impact on you which means you shouldn't get triggered.

Thank you. I had counselling at the time but it was a few sessions of spilling my heart out nothing as you suggest here. I will look into EMDR. I know it's totally irrational and as you say, logic has no power up against anxiety.