I've realised I've become my mother.

[totaleclipseoftheheart]

She absolutely loved life when we all grew up but she absolutely was filled with resentment at being trapped and felt claustrophobic as a mother when bringing us up.
She did it all herself as my father worked all day but she never hid her intense dislike of the entrapment that rearing children brought.
I feel I have turned into her.
I am parenting alone and working full time. Exh left for ow one day. He wasn't cut out to be a husband and father whatsoever. He's a useless and disinterest father with little input in Their lives
My mother and father remained married but there wasn't much love there. She always a reluctant SAHM .
I don't want children to remember me as a mother who Resented rearing them but I do find it terribly hard and regularly ask why I got such a shit deal. I love and adore them but Christ, there is just no let up.
How can I turn this round ?

How old are the children?

It is hard, but you are not your mother and you know what you don’t want to end up like, so make the choice not to. Do a gratitude diary, deliberately look for the upside in everything, live your life by your values not other people’ values.

I always kept the weekends for fun stuff with my kids to make good memories
Being a single parent and working full time is hard going but you have to prioritise good times when time is short

You know what you don't want to be so make decions every day that say you are not your mother.

I agree with what is said above and choose one day a week where you will try to have fun and relax and enjoy your children. Forget about cleaning, and cooking and do a picnic or picky dinner and just be with them. It is hard and I don't envy you doing it alone. Your kids will remember the time you spent with them when they are older. And they will appreciate how difficult it was for you.

What’s that thing about be the adult you needed when you were a child. So how did you know your mum resented the drudgery? What would you have liked her to do?
I’m far from a perfect parent but I listen to hours and hours about minecraft mods and through in the odd question because I remember it having anyone to share interests with.

How do you know that her misery was entirely centered around being a SAHM? Did she fill you in on this helpful narrative? Because she did have choices OP, no matter what she has told you. Same for you really, in this regard. You can either choose to live in resentment or you can find ways to pave a different way of living with your child.