My boyfriend has genuinely not had the best life. He struggled by himself for many years and had to change and completely start again. He was with a woman before me who he clearly loved but they just couldn't get a balance with what they wanted. They didn't have children and spent over 8 years working and rarely being home at the sane time, but they also shared a love of drinking. So everything included a drink. She was mid 30s and he was mid 40s. The last few years they were together she wanted to be out and travelling. He said she constantly was out with her friends and booking various holidays. None of it involved him. He said the last 18 months they were together she went abroad 5 times and when ge suggested a weekend with their dogs she said we don't want the same kind of holidays and had no interest. Over time they grew apart and he lost himself in talking to a couple of women he knew from school but hadn't seen. His ex was pretending she was married when she went to Vegas with friends and came back with a sex toy and had posted loads of silky things online which made him feel horrible. She eventually looked through his phone and saw messages to this woman. She ended the relationship.
I've learned through others how he reacted and struggled after they split. He has watered it down for me and made it sound mutual but his family seem to think he was devastated and one said she doubted he'd ever forgive himself.
I think he's found a more comfortable bond with Me (18 months of talking and 10 months together) we are very similar in what we'd like to do and what things we enjoy. It's just easy spending time with him as we are both content in eachothers company.
The only thing I'm struggling with is he's only just getting therapy to help him deal with his struggles. I'm hoping the therapist helps him tie up the pain from his ex that he terribly hides. But also he's still prone to online conversations with old friends he's not seen since school. He's very much one to offer his help and support to both genders. He's sucked in by people who have experienced addiction or depression (drink was another battle he had to handle after just ex). He's very interested in a woman he went to school with at the moment. She has a coke problem on and off and is with an alcoholic. She works and has children and dogs. A lovely home (he's shown me) I don't like it when she writes she's proud of my boyfriend and compliments him on Facebook. She rang him 3 weeks ago when I was there and he properly told her how much he loved me and I was his reason for trying everyday. But I still felt uneasy. I spoke to him a few days ago and expressed my insecurities that he was in contact with this woman. He was sad I didn't trust him and said he'd never ever do that to me. He's brought it up again yesterday. He told me how it took him ages to feel confident and to like himself again and I helped him with that. He then said he did have many female and male friends and its sometimes easier to speak to women. He said when you are OK looking and a nice person people will talk to you. But he said he absolutely hates the thought of me thinking he's only talking to them because xyz. He said he couldn't.
I think he deletes conversations with these women as they are never in his messenger list when he has it open. He's given me no real reason to think he will cheat or is going to get involved properly with her. But I just find the way she messages him weird when she actually knows nothing about him and she has no respect for me and how her comments appear.
What do you think.