Ex breaching consent order

[StandUp17]

7 years ago I discovered my husband was in an affair and had a child on the way.

It destroyed me. I mean to the point where I considered calling it a day on myself more than once.

It made me very ill, losing a lot of weight, my eye sight suffered and I even ground down my back teeth and have had to have them crowned.

It was a good two and half years before I began to feel even slightly myself again, although the financial struggle is endless as my employment prospects were utterly decimated (I worked in his business and we were building a holiday let type business.)

My ex was insistent that he didn't want to sell the matrimonial home at the time of the divorce, and he couldn't afford to pay me out there and then, so a consent order was drawn up which meant that by last July (2021) he was to have paid off my mortgage on my flat out of his pensions, if there was no other means and he still refused to sell the house.

While I've been re-building my mental health and trying to find work to sustain me (with limited success) he went on to have a second child with her and pretty much got on with his life.

But he still hasn't discharged my mortgage (£120K) as legally agreed, and now he's ignoring my solicitor's letters.

It seems that I'm going to have to apply for the court to enforce a sale on the matrimonial home in order to recover what I'm owed (it has been let since I left it 7 years ago.)

I feel so ill all over again. I feel highly anxious and I am experiencing symptoms that suggest this stress is impacting on my general health.

I just wondered if anybody had been through this and had any advice to extend?

He's now claiming that he is waiting until the new tax year to lessen his liability, and maybe in a few weeks this will be all over, but somehow I doubt it as it's constantly on his terms and he's very emotionally abusive and controlling.

I am not a well - off person (far from it!) and I have literally no chance of buying a place of my own if I lose this flat. Not to mention the age that I'm at.

Just looking for reassurance I suppose.

Thanks.

I'm sorry no one has answered and I have no experience. However, if you have a legally agreed consent form I'm sure you will be able to hold him to it. It may need to go to court but I would have guessed it's straightforward enough to self represent. I would talk to a solicitor for an hour to get advice, it would be worth the expense.

Your ex is still calling all the shots, who cares about his excuses and tax liability. He nearly destroyed you, so you now need to say ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT.
Is he the person benefitting from the rent on the marital home?
Get a solicitor and an enforcement order at Court, so you can get on with your life.
You sound like he has taken you to hell and back. TAKE BACK YOUR POWER.
I have been in a similar situation where court orders have been totally ignored. It took a huge toll on me too. Its still ongoing, I have found the legal system and police, bloody useless.
A penal notice on the Enforcement Order, could get him to do what he is supposed to, fast.
Good luck, let us know how you get on.

Thanks very much for your reply.

No, I don't get a penny out of the rent of the marital home. I simply have a legal charge over it (implemented as insurance by my solicitor) for this very situation really.

And you're right, he is calling the shots. I suppose I worry that he has more disposable wealth than me (his career continued unaffected) whereas I don't have much money to keep spending on legal fees.

I have been to hell and back - a few times - because of his actions, and again you're right that I need to take back my power.

I guess I'm a bit worn down by it all.

Thank you so much, and I'm so sorry to read that you too have endured similar. It's so utterly destructive and exhausting.

Best to you.

Move this to Legal OP. Just report your op and ask.

You can apply to court for enforcement of the order, just ring the court for advice. There is a standard form. I suspect he is trying to bluff you however a court will not take kindly to him ignoring their order and I suspect if you state you will apply for enforcement and costs for your legal fees he will backdown.

He's likely to want to draw you into drama so see it for what it is...a little man who has to have power over someone.

Do what needs to be done. Get a solicitor on point and let them go to work. Good luck it sounds horrible

Hello Standup17, sorry for the delay in replying, I had Covid. I am clear now but did feel bad.
It is hard to keep legally fighting someone who has much more disposable wealth than you.
I am so sorry that it has been so destructive and exhausting for you.
The charity Surviving Economic Abuse has a relatively new survivors forum, which you may be interested in.
Wishing you all the best.