To finally be able to say fuck you to my parents

[Now5sos]

My parents always had high expectations of me, I'm one of 4 but the only girl.
I fell pregnant at 17 to a boy I had been dating since I was 14, in my parents eyes he wasn't good enough, from a council estate and rough.
My parents told me I would live to regret it and I had ruined my life and my children's future by not marrying better.
We split after 25 years together, all amicable, he's still the most amazing man and father.
3 children later and our youngest has just recieved 3 offers from universities dependent on A level results.
Our eldest is settled with a great career and boyfriend, our middle child is living abroad, working a dream job.
I know I don't need to prove a point to my parents or anyone else but I just want to be able to say fuck you and look at what you told me we couldn't achieve, that a teenage mum and a council boy (My parents words) would never amount to anything.

I think after 25 years you need to let it go tbh. For someone else it could easily have gone the other way. What would they say to their parents?… ‘sorry, you were right!’ Of course not. I think saying ‘fuck you, you were wrong’ isn’t any more necessary either. You got lucky IMO. You couldn’t know at 17 it would work out well, no one can know that at any time and take the credit for it. It’s mostly luck. I feel like this runs deeper. How is your relationship with your parents now? Seems odd to me to be still hung up about this.

I get it, OP, I would say fuck you too! Well done for making so much of your life and clearly doing such a great job bringing up your kids

I get you OP, it's taken this long to get where you are that's why you've waited 25 years...I'd give them a big fuck you too

Why on earth would you bother.

They only wanted the best for you, so that is a bit harsh.....Yes you have proved them wrong but no need to be nasty.

@Dragongirl10

They only wanted the best for you, so that is a bit harsh.....Yes you have proved them wrong but no need to be nasty.

Yeah, they sounded so supportive

@Drangongirl10 did you read the OP? They were hardly supportive parents

FFS

Just a thought, but perhaps what they said spurred you on to achieve? To prove them wrong? Perhaps in a warped way you might have them to thank…

Tbh if my 17 year old got pregnant to the boy from the local council estate I’d have low expectations too. You got lucky with the way your life turned out. It could easily have gone the other way. Your parents were right to be concerned. Great it’s all worked out but saying fuck you sounds a bit spiteful and pathetic.

25vyears is q succesful chapter of your life so dont feeled shamed by any head tilting that you split up.

Are your parents annoying you now?

Nobody is THRILLED when their 17 year old dd gets pregnant so allow them their reaction.

They were allowed to have a reaction to their only dd getting preg at 17.

You made it work for 25 years and you're not trying to win their approval now, or are you?

It's not always easy to stop trying to win parents' approval

If my daughter got pregnant at 17 I would be upset too. The success you have been describing belong to your children. It also nice that your ex is a wonderful father. But whats your PERSONAL success?

@Now5sos, ur plan is not necessary. Been too long, focus ur energy on something better, more exciting. Why on earth are you still holding on to shit soo many years later? You should be planning holidays or whatever it is you like doing for fun seeing as soon u’ll be an empty nester soon

I was in a very similar position. My parents were 'pretend' supportive and now looking back I don't bloody blame them. I'd be so upset if one of my children followed in my footsteps.

I'm proud of my children and I'm proud of myself - two degrees and a high wage later.

Let it go.

I’m assuming you don’t mean you literally want to go and say fuck you to your parents? Just in your mind?

@UnshakenNeedsStirring

If my daughter got pregnant at 17 I would be upset too. The success you have been describing belong to your children. It also nice that your ex is a wonderful father. But whats your PERSONAL success?

What a horrible comment

They were disappointed. Would you not feel disappointed if your youngest with 3 uni places announced they were pregnant?

@Jessasamantha

Tbh if my 17 year old got pregnant to the boy from the local council estate I’d have low expectations too. You got lucky with the way your life turned out. It could easily have gone the other way. Your parents were right to be concerned. Great it’s all worked out but saying fuck you sounds a bit spiteful and pathetic.

I have a 17 year old and I would think she had ruined her life if this happened to be honest. It was actually a reasonable response from your parents However, parents can be wrong and you should be proud of what your children have achieved However, Just imagine for a second that your youngest said they weren’t going to Uni anymore because they had got pg/got a girl pg. would you be patting them on the back?

Why don't you just ask them if their opinion has changed? Hindsight is a wonderful thing. I'd be very proud of my achievement though.

Please stop with the "council estate" comments. They are disgraceful and judgemental. I became a single mum after my ex and I split, so to the outside world I am a single mum on benefits on a council estate.

The facts of the matter are my children are either working in good jobs, at uni or doing A levels. Only the 17 year old isnt working but is looking whilst in 6th form. I am a teacher, but due to health issues can only work PT so yes, get some UC. I can assure all you with your nasty judgmental comments that my children and many others where I live have/are doing brilliantly. I dont know any of my younger children's peers on the estate living a life of doing nothing, they are either in college, uni or apprenticeships.

Your comments are like something out of the 1980's. So backward.

Amazing how people here are somehow able to tell that the life you achieved and the way your children turned out were purely due to luck.

@UnshakenNeedsStirring

If my daughter got pregnant at 17 I would be upset too. The success you have been describing belong to your children. It also nice that your ex is a wonderful father. But whats your PERSONAL success?

What a nasty post. Hope your personal success ranks highly @UnshakenNeedsStirring ?

The one thing I learned as a parent is that everything my parents said or did was because they wanted me to be ok, even if what that meant to them was different to what it meant to me. I’m already doing the same with my kids. It doesn’t make me a bad person.

I'd let it go. I have a friend who's been married for a similar amount of time and every single wedding anniversary she updates her fb status with a f* you post to all those who thought they wouldn't make it.

It just comes across kinda vindictive tbh

@chattycaterpillar Whats nasty about the truth? Shes obviously been thinking about the way her parents treated her for 25 years! Its a long time. Its great that her life turned out good, but what are the accomplishments? Describing your ex as a wonderful man and children having good jobs is all nice and Im happy or her. but she has not informed us of her personal achievements. Is she living vicariously through her children? Be good to hear about what OP has done, thats all. Sometimes you feel better after putting stuff down on paper.