Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Facebook/ ex not as dramatic as it sounds

27 replies

raisedbrow1 · 24/03/2022 18:37

Just for a general totally unscientific show of hands really.
How many people have exes as friends on Facebook, in particular exes that you share children with?
I personally do not, we are no contact but even if we weren't I don't think I would.
Clearly I'm asking because if relationship stuff but it's not a jealousy issue exactly, I don't think it's that common?

OP posts:
Haggisfish3 · 24/03/2022 18:38

I have loads, don’t share kids with them.

NotNotNotMyName · 24/03/2022 18:40

ExH I am no contact with so no. But a few ex boyfriends from way back yonder are my friends, there’s no bad feelings though only happy memories.

OneForTheRoadThen · 24/03/2022 18:40

I do. One from over 20 years ago, a recent one I share children with and a couple of flings!

raisedbrow1 · 24/03/2022 18:42

Interesting 🤔Grin
Ok so how about interacting with them?

OP posts:
blockbustervideo · 24/03/2022 18:43

Yes I have exes on Facebook/Instagram but don't share kids with them.

newbiename · 24/03/2022 18:45

Only one from when I was a teenager. Definitely not EXH. he did request me though.

aibutohavethisusername · 24/03/2022 18:45

I have my ex that I have my DD with on FB.

Canigooutyet · 24/03/2022 18:47

Yes I have a couple of exes on sm, no kids with them though.
We interact in the same way as I do other mates.
If we are in the same city we also try and meet up.
We were crap as partners but great as just mates.

raisedbrow1 · 24/03/2022 18:49

I think of focused too much on the ex element, my own bad explanation.
If I was to rephrase I would ask 'do you have your co parent on Facebook? Particularly if the relationship is dicey/ poor between you?

OP posts:
OneForTheRoadThen · 24/03/2022 18:49

@raisedbrow1

Interesting 🤔Grin Ok so how about interacting with them?
The ex I share children with and I like each other's uploads about the children. That's about it. We co-parent though so have to communicate regularly. The others just an occasional like or happy birthday etc.
Sprig1 · 24/03/2022 18:49

None. I find it odd. I think people only want to to be nosy.

WeeOrcadian · 24/03/2022 18:51

@raisedbrow1

I think of focused too much on the ex element, my own bad explanation. If I was to rephrase I would ask 'do you have your co parent on Facebook? Particularly if the relationship is dicey/ poor between you?
What's the drip feed?
raisedbrow1 · 24/03/2022 18:56

There is no drip feed, just a poorly worded first post.
I should have specified coparents because there's possibly more emotion involved in a coparent relationship than just an ex.
An ex might be someone you hardly knew 10 years ago or something but coparents are potentially still a feature in day to day life.
Ex is a bit general, I just phrased it badly

OP posts:
unicornsarereal72 · 24/03/2022 19:39

When i separated from ex and he moved on with ow I blocked him on Facebook. I didn't need to see him posting picture of his happy life, ow and the children. He didn't like it as he wanted a window into 'the children's lives'

He remains blocked and will continue to do so. We have no contact above times of pick up.

bathsh3ba · 24/03/2022 22:04

No but he isn't on Facebook or social media! My boyfriend isn't friends with his ex wife either though and she is on social media

raisedbrow1 · 24/03/2022 23:09

Thats more or less what I've seen too. I know a few families that are separate parents and none of them are friends online so to me it seems unusual.
I'm sure it works for some but to be honest I don't really get it.

OP posts:
GoIntoTheLight · 25/03/2022 00:14

No. I have no interest with being friends with any of my exes on FB!

MrsBerthaRochester · 25/03/2022 08:25

No and I agree its weird. Xh, his vile gf and all his family are blocked on all my social media.

raisedbrow1 · 25/03/2022 10:08

Glad I'm not going mad lol, I find it weird too. Not necessarily wrong just uncomfortable

OP posts:
Booboo24 · 25/03/2022 13:08

Ex husband and dad to our 2 children, yes, he's still a friend, even if we didn't have kids together. I'm also friends with his partner on there. 1 more recent ex, no, but then there's no history, he was an arse so I'd have no interest in remaining on friendly terms.

Turningpurple · 25/03/2022 13:10

I have exs. I don't have ech who is the father of my kids. But that's because he started stalking me.

Other exs who I get on well with, yes, I have them.

candles1298 · 25/03/2022 13:18

@raisedbrow1

I think of focused too much on the ex element, my own bad explanation. If I was to rephrase I would ask 'do you have your co parent on Facebook? Particularly if the relationship is dicey/ poor between you?
No I don't have my Dds dad in fb, we fit. Get on at all

I've have a few exes but it was more situations where we dated for a bit, wasn't majorly serious and it was mutually agreed we'd be better as friends

Mumoblue · 25/03/2022 13:27

My ex is on my Facebook. Mostly because I don’t use Facebook. I rarely put up a picture or two of our son for our relatives who live far away and that’s it.

When he got in a hissy fit with me he blocked me on it, but ended up unblocking me because he realised I didn’t give a shit. There’s no jealousy over new partners because I don’t want to date so he has no one to be jealous of, and I’d rather lick a dead seal than go back with him, so no jealousy on my part. Grin

Andoffwego · 25/03/2022 14:48

My exH and I stayed friends on FB for about 18 months after we split but he was using it to try and keep tabs on me after I started a new relationship. He had a massive tantrum over something I posted on there (which actually wasn’t what he thought it was at all but that’s by the by) and unfriended me which I think was the best thing all round really. After a few months he kept asking me to accept his friend request and be friends with him on there again but I have refused because he was just trying to use it as control. I miss being able to tag him in things to do with our DC but it would not be healthy for us to be FB friends due to his behaviour over the past few years. We have a good relationship (on the surface) in reality, coparent well and are quite happy to have a chat and a cup of tea etc something when dropping off or picking up DC, but there is an undercurrent due to his past behaviour that means we can’t be “friends” as such.

raisedbrow1 · 25/03/2022 16:02

Thanks all I was starting to think I was in the twilight zone finding it unusual. I don't know any that are friends with their coparent (besides one) and it just seems weird to me

OP posts: