Was this assault? Possible TW

[Anonymousperson35]

This happened about 20 years ago but it has been playing on my mind as my ex bf (who i'll call Rob) has started working in my office. I have been through a lot worse stuff so I didn't really think about it before as possibly being wrong. I wouldn't go to the police or anything, I just feel like I'd like to know, i feel like it was wrong but im not sure if it was aasault.

When I was 16 and he was 17/18 we were in a relationship.

We went to a birthday party at a friend's house (i'll call Paul), Paul's parents friends there and Paul's friends from college (our friendship group) also and we were all drinking. Us college friends all went upstairs to Paul's room and he was showing his gaming stuff. I was very drunk so I ended up on the bed and I was pretty much asleep, like i didnt feel like i could move and my eyes were closed but I could hear talking and I could feel my bf was on top of me, kissing me, grabbing by boobs and my butt and moving up and down rubbing against me. He didn't have sex with me. Then after a while I heard one of the girls from the group say something like "Rob, what are you doing? She's passed out." And he stopped.

He was also drunk at the time and we were in a sexual relationship.

We also continued to be in a relationship for perhaps a few more months after this.

I would contact Rape Crisis to talk this through because it has and will continue to play on your mind even 20 years later. This was sexual assault and besides which you were not able to give consent. It was fortunate for you that one of the other girls saw what he was doing because he knew also you were passed out.

Are you and he working in the same department; can you use hybrid working to avoid him?. I would be looking for a transfer out of there or another job.

No we are not in the same department, I have to go in once a week but can work from home the rest of the time. I did think I'd probably have to leave because he also knows a lot of "juicy gossip" about my previous family situation and mental health from back then etc. I've worked hard and try to keep professional. So I suppose I will have to keep a low profile while looking for another job and hope he's too ashamed to mention that he knows me.