So, my husband and I have separated about a year ago. After a small disagreement, he decided to just cut communication with me and block my number, despite us living together. This situation remained for 5 months, until he went to Spain (this is where he is originally from) last summer. He was away for about 6 months, and was in touch only twice to speak with DD who is 4. Whilst he was away, in November, I randomly plugged his external hard drive which has all of our photos, I stumbled across a file which has the previous year's holiday (2020), he went back home for a month with his brother to 'surprise their mother'. I couldn't go because of COVID. He created this file when he transferred data from his old phone to the drive. I opened it, I found pictures with one particular woman whom he met there (let's call her Emma) as well as videos and photos with other women in nightclubs, sheesha bars etc. Screenshots of conversations about sex also with a different woman. I saw hotel reservations and flight tickets with Emma's name on. He ended up coming back to the UK with her, spending a week between London and Manchester and paying for her flights back to Spain. During that week, he was messaging me telling me he was still abroad and I believed him. As soon, as I saw all of these things, I put a notice of home rights on the property to protect myself and DD because he owns the house and has been paying for the mortgage and bills. I asked to be on the mortgage when we first got married, he refused. I've had very little financial contribution to the marriage, but I do everything for DD and always have. I have been working from home, part time since she was born. He has never helped to look after her, do housework, cook etc. I have been doing all of that. Despite being separated, he continued to pay for the mortgage and bills. (he has a high paying job from home, as well as a side business). I do the food shopping, pay for DD's clothes, activities, holidays etc.
Last month, he came back with his mum and stayed for 2 weeks. Packed a lot of his stuff and shipped them back. He hardly spent any time with DD, other than taking her to see his mum (who was staying with BIL) a few times. His mum came over to see me and I let her know that the marriage is 100% over because of his cheating, obviously, as well as his horrendous behaviour towards me last year. I also let her know that I don't like him nor love him. She mentioned that if we divorce he will quit his job so he won't have to pay CM. She also said, he's thinking of giving me a lump sum to rent for a year, so I have somewhere to live, so he can sell the house. I refused. I told her, I will not leave the house until the divorce is finalised, and I will apply for CM. Baring in mind, they don't know about the home rights notice.
Ever since the conversation with his mum, he has been messaging me frequently, asking how myself and DD are doing, wishing me a good day etc. Asking to video call DD every week, but in a manipulative way. For instance, we agree for a call at a certain time, but he doesn't call. This has happened 4 times in 2 weeks. I'm just left waiting. There is no pointing talking to him about it as he will continue to do it. I want to ignore his messages, or arrange for times, I know he can't do. But, I'm worried I'll be ruining her relationship with her dad. She is always upset after every call as she wants her daddy home. He promises to be home very soon, to bring her lots of toys. She spends days after the call asking about him, why he isn't home etc. I find this very difficult to deal with.
Should I just ignore his messages/arrange calls at times he won't be able to do or is that unreasonable and unfair on DD?