Meeting boyfriends family for the first time - ANXIOUS!

[whatsthestorymorningglorybox]

Hello hello
Not sure what I'm after here, maybe some reassurance/words of wisdom.
I've been with my boyfriend for a few months & this weekend meeting his parents/siblings/their families at a restaurant.
I'm terrified!
By the way he's the kindest, funniest, most incredible man... we have such a great connection.
And I feel soooo not good enough.
He's successful, well off, 'together'
I'm a single mum, skint, don't have a car & feel like a total loser. His family are all well off & 'together' too it sounds like.
I'm also a survivor of domestic abuse & I get highly anxious when I meet new people & my self confidence is very limited.
Can anyone help me to feel less scared?

You don't have to say much, you know. It's not the You Show. It's perfectly acceptable to be 'reserved' (ie too scared to speak), they'll all manage just fine if you're very quiet. In the long run, you'll just seem to be somebody who takes a while to come out of themselves; it's quite a nice way to be.

If he's well off and 'together', and he thinks you're great, he's like that for a reason, and he wants to introduce you to them. You're seeing your traits in a negative way, but probably they're the same as him and will view you as somebody utterly lovely who doesn't know it.

When you're nervous of meeting people usually, do they turn out not to like you? I bet they don't.

Do you feel ready to meet them? It sounds like you don't, in which case say so. If he's the decent person you understand him to be then he will completely respect your feelings and will cancel (without telling why). If you feel rail-roaded in to meeting them then that isn't fair on you.

If you want to start meeting his family, then great, but does it have to be all of them at once? That would make anyone nervous. Couldn't you just meet the parents first? Or a close sibling?

And don't put yourself down. You have chosen him and he has chosen you. He presumably thinks you are lovely. Having a lot of money and a good job doesn't make him superior. You are a single mum who has had the awful experience of domestic abuse and is here living life.... you are an inspiration.

If you feel nervous meeting new people, remember - smile, look people in the eye, listen, have some stock questions ready (people often love talking about themselves) and show an interest in them.

Thanks so much @Watchkeys & @layladomino
I'm feeling all teary!
I do want to meet them & will feel anxious whenever it is I think...
Thank you. Your words mean a lot.

OP, I'm soon to be a MIL. I'd have been beyond myself had I thought ds's gf was incredibly anxious about meeting us for the first time. You will probably find they are just thrilled a woman is prepared to.put up with their son/brother, etc as they know him warts and all and remember when he pebbledashed the porch aged 17.

Just be yourself! If the relationship is going to go long term then there's no point trying to fit in early as you can't keep that up long term.

Also make sure you wear a matching pair of shoes not that I have ever worn odd shoes whilst meeting a boyfriends partner

(As an aside I had a bf who was a chef when I was 18. He used to carry his chefs knives around with him. He also had a lisp. The first time he let my mum he said "lovely to meet you mithuth Dove. Do you wanna thee me kniveth?"

Don't do that and you will be fine 😂😂