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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DP depressed and miserable

6 replies

OceanAvenue · 22/03/2022 19:26

To give some context, we have had a difficult few months (redundancy and health issues). Tonight I tried to have a conversation about what we could do on our free day off together this week (v unusual) as I didn’t want to just stay in the house and waste my leave.
This resulted in an enormous argument with my partner saying that he has been struggling with his mental health and how I’m making it worse. He then got angry saying that I could go out on my own and he wanted to just “do his own thing”. I’m upset because I feel like he doesn’t want to spend time with me, and also he says I’m making him miserable. I just end up feeling jealous of people who go out and do nice things together as that isn’t happening often for us at the moment. I’m not sure what to do…

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 22/03/2022 19:27

Is he getting any professional help for his mental health or just taking it all out on you?

BoodleBug51 · 22/03/2022 19:31

He can't help his state of mind but that doesn't give him the right to use you as his emotional punch bag.

If he's not getting medical help, then I'd be evaluating staying tbh.

OceanAvenue · 22/03/2022 20:10

No professional help at the moment, no. I know he’s stressed and I haven’t been easy to live with for the past few months and he has been supportive. It seems like once one of us feels better, then the other starts feeling worse?

OP posts:
Walkingalot · 22/03/2022 22:07

Go out on your own and give him the space that he needs. Hopefully it will do you both good.

Holothane · 22/03/2022 22:09

Go out and enjoy I know I do now and again I love hospital appointments I get a rest.

Fireflygal · 22/03/2022 22:12

How long have you been together? If it's only a few months and he's supported you then it's fair you give back.

It's reasonable that you want connection but you can't force him to do something that doesn't feel in his best interests. Maybe he needs the rest so alone time would be good for him.

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