Birthday disagreement opinions

[NorthSouthcatlady]

Person A and B are in conflict about a family birthday that occurred, they are close family members. Person A had a big birthday, said they were flexible about the plan but would love to see the family. Person B travels to person A's home area for their birthday as discussed (they live roughly 250 miles away). Takes person A out to lunch, person B paid and drove. They went to a place person A said they like, brought them a card and a present.

Person A feels person B should have made more effort for their birthday, they were lazy and selfish. They are still unhappy about what happened for their birthday. Person B is confused about what more they could have done. They feel a 500 mile round trip, lunch out, birthday card and a present was more than enough

Posting here for external opinions, from people who were not involved on either side

wanted “more effort” made apparently but not able to articulate what

If what you want is ultimately to have something to complain about, then wouldn't this be exactly the way to go about it? Being non specific about what you want so anything that is offered or provided can be complained about.

Could there be something in that?

Or perhaps as others have mentioned just Typical scapegoat / golden child vibe

The answer imo would be to decide what you are going to do, tell 'em, do it and then not give it another second of headspace.

I wonder if this is what Person A was expecting

If someone has expectations and does nothing to communicate those expectations, even as little as I do love those big family celebrations for significant birthdays ....

Then I still call being vague on purpose.

Oh well, person A would have been unhappy with whatever you did so don't dwell on it too much. I'd be far too busy next birthday, Christmas, Easter, mothers day as no one has time for this shit

Yeah just be too busy next time. If you're going to be criticised anyway....

Have you tried asking what brother bought / how far he travelled / what fuss he made, to see how they explain it's you getting the grief?