Splitting up and getting threats

[Whydoipickthem]

I ended a seven month relationship tonight as I have had several issues with trust and being made to feel guilty when spending time with my children.
Tonight I was out and he was in my house. He covered my doorbell security camera for 2 mins while I was out having a cuppa with my relative at her house. I got an alert and when I realised the camera was covered i felt sick.
I messaged to say what was he playing at. He said it was a joke.
I came in and explained I was upset. I felt it was very weird to cover a camera and quite suspicious. He started shouting and at that point I asked him to leave. He through the door key that he had, at me, and slammed his car door into my car door three times as he left (again all on camera).
He messaged to say he apologies for raising his voice. I blocked him on everything.
The other issue is I have genital herpes from when I was raped at 19. I take medications to lower the risk of transmission and outbreaks I get. I was honest about my herpes status from the beginning. We split about a month ago over trust issues and he then said he had clusters of blisters on his penis. Three days later we met up and he had nothing on his penis.
Tonight, at 12.45am he has just left a voicemail from an unknown number (as I blocked him) and he said “I’ve got an STD now because of you. Should I just make it common knowledge now”
Nobody knows I have herpes. Only my ex husband, one ex boyfriend and my midwife (my kids are 14/17).
I know he’s highly abusive and manipulative. I’m just feeling a bit freaked out and worried about what he will do :/

Op l don't want to frighten you unecessarily, but an ex boyfriend,became a stalker then broke into my flat and nearly killed me many years ago...

Be very vigilant, call the police EVERY time he does anything, get it logged and don't be deterred. Tell EVERYONE you may be at risk, all your friends, your parents, work, his friends, parents etc...he has to know this will have consequences, if he persues you...

He has to know that everyone will know if he hurts you , that may stop him now.
Make sure you home is very secure...
I am so sorry.

Wow you've had a lucky escape OP.

Ignore him. You have done everything else right (although I would report him to the police).

You have the herpes virus along with approx 60% of the population. Some don't know they carry the virus or only have one outbreak in their life. What he's an abusive twat. Stay safe by keeping him away from you. Liaise with the police if you need to and most importantly, keep a diary x

He has left a voicemail today askin me to ring him or he will turn up at my house. I ignored this.
He posted a handwritten letter through my door at teatime today. In the letter he says he placed a jacket between the car doors when he opened his car onto mine (he didn’t, it was very clear on the video doorbell footage that he didn’t), and that he will always love me….
He also sent an email.
I’ve ignored it all, and have kept a diary of everything.

Thanks to all those who have given advice. I feel stronger since reading your replies.

Can you clarify, you dumped him and he let himself into your house? Would you not feel that you could call the police? He sounds really horrible I'd want them to have a word with him.

He was at my house on Monday evening when I went to see my family members for a couple of hours. That was when the ring doorbell alerted me to movement and it was him covering the camera over. When I got home he said it was just in jest. It was covered for less than 2 minutes but I still do not know what he did in those two mins.
I asked him and he said it was just in fun. I said it was extremely weird and we argued and I asked him to leave. He messaged later and I replied saying please do not contact me again.
I got the key back off him and since changed the locks.
I’ve blocked him on everything.

I asked him and he said it was just in fun.

The best response to fuckwits who try this line is always, "Who exactly do you think is having fun? Because it's not me. Don't do it again."

Hope you're ok OP. I would start logging stuff in a diary and could you take advice from the Police?
They apparently are now meant to take stuff like this really seriously.

Perhaps see what Women's Aid says too.

Really hoping he leaves you alone soon.

OP, you need to check ALL your windows and doors lock properly, because he's probably used the 2 mins to set something up to allow him access from another (unexpected, and NOT covered by door camera) point of entry e.g bathroom window.

Also be very wary of him having placed some kind of recording device in your home, so check for ANYTHING that wasn't there before (e.g small clock/ornament/teddy etc) and also check IN and UNDER all furniture and lamps etc as well as in any fire alarms and vents.

He's covered the camera for a REASON, and I'd not be relaxing until I had found the 'WHY' !

This man is a real threat to you and yours. People will say it’s overreacting but it isn’t. The amount of violence in this situations are well documented and acknowledged.

They don’t make the news often and only when there is something else that is a factor to be sensationalized

You need to view him like you would a wild and rabid animal.

Nothing is funny about making you feel afraid, and covering your camera isn’t a lark.

For you I’d plead that you read “why does he do that” Lundy Bancroft book. I will personally send you 50 pounds or usd if you don’t see him in the men profiled.

Ring the nine emergency police number and log all the harassment. They can then put a flag on your house, so if he does turn up and threaten you again the police will react quickly

None not nine

He was in your house? Do you think he's the sort to put in a camera or listening device?

You need to call the police Op and flag his behaviour tonight - do not put it off. They may offer to check your house for recording devices ect. His behaviour is unhinged and likely to escalate. He's a threat to you and your instincts have already told you he's done something while he covered the camera. Call them.

He turned up today at lunchtime out of the blue to return some stuff of mine. I kept him at the door and said I don’t want to keep any contact or see him again. I stood my ground. He left.
I’ve spent today feeling a little lost. My parents passed away last year and three years ago and I miss them dearly, more so when I’m feeling lonely and with Mother’s Day.
My sister has been a great support to me and has just been to see me tonight. She too said I’ve done the right thing and to ring her if I need anything x

Can you tell me what area you are in. Something so similar happened to me. Just county is fine.

It sounds identical. I found out that he had done it to someone else before me as well.

He was letting himself into my home in the short time I was doing the school run. He put listening devices in my home. I had to move house (luckily I rented) I’m still looking over my shoulder and this is 11 years on.

@Whydoipickthem

He hasn’t contacted me all day then started ringing from a withheld number once I’ve finished work. I’ve changed the settings on my phone so any withheld number goes straight to voicemail. There’s 9 calls in 15 mins. No voicemails.

I’ve changed my front door lock.

Do you have a back door? He'll probably have made a copy of that key too.

OP,

You really need to report him to the police.

He is a dangerous man.

Please report him.

You are doing really well, OP. I'm sorry to hear about your mum, it must just make everything that much more emotional for you.

You've had loads of really good advice here. The only thing I would add is, bolts. Get a bolt for your front and back door. Even if he has copied a key, he won't be able to sneak in if the door is bolted as well as locked.