What to look for in a healthy relationship

[twinkletwinkleangel]

I feel like In the relationship im in i and doing everything. Hosting, cooking etc. then my bf goes home, does his hobbies and out with his friends. We have some lovely times together don't get me wrong but I've lost sight of what a healthy relationship is!

I'm wondering are my expectations too high /romanticised

I guess it depends on how long you’ve been together.
When I first started dating my dh we took turns to arrange dates and pay. We’d alternate staying at each other’s houses and alternate what group of friends we hung around with.
When we moved in together it was tricky because the relationship changes and you quickly see a different side to them. We split housework etc and ask each other for help.

For me a healthy relationship is one where you can talk openly about any subject without feeling judged. You feel happy and comfortable yet understand that normal relationships include arguing but you find healthy ways to move past these arguments and they don’t turn into ignoring each other for days etc
If you feel like you’re doing everything and he’s not doing his fair share then speak tk him. Say instead of coming to mine and me cooking why don’t we go out or I’ll go to yours for a change!

For me it means that there is mutual respect, that you are two equals coming together. You both put the same effort in to the relationship, take their fair share of any joint responsibilities (appreciate that's more an issue later on when you own property and have children etc) and get the same amount of 'downtime' from those responsibilities. You each support the other. There is always honesty and trust. No double-standards. No game-playing. Always absolute respect. Never feeling like you have to pretend to be someone else / cover up your feelings or keep quiet, for fear of upsetting or angering or being judged. Knowing they 100% have your back and will show a united front.

So, really you're FWB with you doing all the Friends stuff and him getting all the benefits?

For me, a healthy relationship is one in which there is care and kindness for each other. Where you want to be better and do more to make your partner's life better/easier. It's perfectly fine to have your own interests/hobbies/friends but not if you don't also have time/enjoyment with your partner and prioritise them.