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Relationships

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Original poster

What are my options with the family house

21 replies

Longcovid21 · 20/03/2022 19:24

So ex dp and I bought a house about 7 years ago. Two years later as a result of him treating me very poorly, I left with the children and took up a job 70 miles away.

I still pay the mortgage on the family house as I want to go back to it. He still lives there. He has said he may rent out a room. I should have that money as I pay the mortgage. However, I expect he will try to keep it as he is an extreme cheapskate.

I need advice as I really want to go and live back in the family home. But I don't want to live there with him. Where we live now is tiny.

We jointly own the property as he paid half in equity. What are my options. Is my only option to sell? Hope not as I really love the house. Advice please. We are tenants in common. We have 2 dcs but have never been married.

OP posts:

MrsBertBibby · 20/03/2022 19:26

You need to see a solicitor. Unmarried property is very complex.

LittleOwl153 · 20/03/2022 19:27

You have a right to half the rent (if I've read your ownership correctly at 50/50?). Your challenge is going to be legally enforcing that. You need to seek.legal advice!

Original poster

Longcovid21 · 20/03/2022 19:29

Thanks. I guess I should see a family or property solicitor then?

OP posts:

Original poster

Longcovid21 · 20/03/2022 19:31

I have been putting it off as it then makes everything feel very official!

OP posts:

NoSquirrels · 20/03/2022 19:37

Does he pay any of the mortgage? (If not, why not?)

Can you afford to buy him out?

Would he be able to buy a new place if you did buy him out?

Lou98 · 20/03/2022 19:40

@NoSquirrels I think the OP is saying he paid half the value of the house when they bought it so she pays the mortgage on the rest.

OP - When he paid the deposit equivalent to half the value, did he have it ring fenced at all or anything in writing to say he would get that back?

Original poster

Longcovid21 · 20/03/2022 19:45

OP - When he paid the deposit equivalent to half the value, did he have it ring fenced at all or anything in writing to say he would get that back?

I believe it is legally written as we own 50% shares each which may have been a error or the conveyencer but I'm not sure to be honest. He put in 125,000 cash and I got out a mortgage for 125,000. I have about £95,000 in mortgage left to pay. I reckon the house will have gone up about 100k in the time we owned it.

OP posts:

99pronouns · 20/03/2022 19:49

Does he pay you rent on your half of the property?

It sounds not.
This was a mistake as now it sounds like he has a really good deal and you are going to need a crow bar to get him out of there!

Any chance trying to negotiate with him?

Original poster

Longcovid21 · 20/03/2022 19:52

Does he pay you rent on your half of the property

Nope, not a penny! Yes he has a great deal living mortgage free in a 4 bedroom house. I really feel he's dug his heels in.

OP posts:

Original poster

Longcovid21 · 20/03/2022 19:54

It's actually my dream house and he's living there whilst I'm 70 miles away in a tiny semi.

OP posts:

HowlongWillThisTakeNow · 20/03/2022 19:54

If you co own the house I think it’s quite complex, as you both have the right to live there, but you left, he is still perfectly entitled to live there.
In effect I think you would to try and sell and split the equity or try and buy him out somehow.

99pronouns · 20/03/2022 20:45

I suggest to deal with this sooner rather than later.
You sound like you've got a cock-lodger and he's not going to want to lose his lovely set up.

If you can't afford to buy him out and you lose the house, isn't that still better than paying your ex to live there?
I mean, when I dream of my dream house .... I'm the one living there, not my ex! I wouldn't give a shit where he lived and I certainly won't be working hard to pay
to enable him to live in my dream house!
What happens if he decides to move a gf in, or start a new family in 'your dream house' ?

Honestly, it's only going to get more complicated the longer you leave it.

Thingsdogetbetter · 20/03/2022 20:47

He's been living there alone for 5 years? Do you honestly think he will move out so you can move back in? He hasn't given a shit that his dc are living in a different property whilst you pay for both and his dc live in a tiny semi for 5 years. Why do you think he will graciously move out now?

You've been waiting 5 years paying on a mortgage for somewhere you live because it's your dream home. I think that's what it is: a pipedream! This guy is never going to just move out without you buying him out of his deposit and any equity increase. Can you afford that?

You need to look at this realistically. If you can't buy him out with £125000+, and he won't just move out then you need to stop dreaming and start living with the reality that you need to force a sale.

2DogsOnMySofa · 20/03/2022 20:57

I'm your shoes I'd force a sale via a solicitor and find your dream home without any of the hassle or memories. He's been living there rent free for 5 years, do you honestly think he will move out and let you and the dc move in?

Do you even have the ability to mortgage the 95k remaining mortgage plus his £125k AND his half of any equity. You'd need a mortgage of £270000.

Original poster

Longcovid21 · 20/03/2022 21:03

Do you even have the ability to mortgage the 95k remaining mortgage plus his £125k AND his half of any equity. You'd need a mortgage of £270000

Well I'm on a salary of 60k but in a job 70 miles away. Plus I have a mortgage down here. So I am paying x 2 mortgages at the moment! It's all very messy.

OP posts:

Aprilx · 20/03/2022 21:17

You own the house jointly, the options are he buys you out, you buy him out or you sell. I am amazed you have let the current set up go on for this long!

OverTheRubicon · 20/03/2022 21:22

You need to talk to a property solicitor not a family one.

Are you sure you're tenants in common and not joint? Assuming it was set up that way, it's still a bit complex if you've been paying all of the mortgage (is that right?) and also if he's been renting out. You'll probably end up quids in even after legal fees.

The biggest challenge is likely to be if he digs his heels in, as it's very hard to evict and selling with him in situ will be hard to impossible in practice.

I'd say nothing to him, quietly speak to a lawyer to understand your position, then sort out a strategy before you go to him with a proposal.

bellac11 · 20/03/2022 21:25

He does have the right to live there, I dont know why people are using the term 'rent free' as if he's not entitled, he co owns the house

However OP, would you be able to sell your current house that you have the other mortgage on and then remortgage for the amount needed to buy him out that sounds like a possibility.

Do you work from home and hterefore you could keep your job perhaps?

OverTheRubicon · 21/03/2022 11:14

@bellac11

He does have the right to live there, I dont know why people are using the term 'rent free' as if he's not entitled, he co owns the house

However OP, would you be able to sell your current house that you have the other mortgage on and then remortgage for the amount needed to buy him out that sounds like a possibility.

Do you work from home and hterefore you could keep your job perhaps?

I think people are using the term rent free because - especially if they are tenants in common Vs joint owners - he's effectively had possession of the whole house despite having paid for half at most. Even more when he's then got income from a lodger.

Why on earth should the op sell her house that she currently lives in, to remortgage and move into a house in the wrong location and that her ex has been occupying for years? It will leave her financially far out of pocket, and in the wrong place.

millymolls · 21/03/2022 13:13

Take mrsbertbibby advice!

However, do you have a deed of trust or anything that ringfences his deposit - because if you own as tenants in common with 50% shares than you’re quids in…..

Seek legal advice - you can’t just get him to move out so you can move back

bellac11 · 21/03/2022 19:14

She said she wanted to move back into the house thats why.

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