Being irritable with my boyfriend

[Zeebs27]

I’m looking for some advice please! I’ve been with my boyfriend for around 10 months and I’ve never been happier. We get on great, we share the same values, have so much fun together and just connect on a really deep level.

Unfortunately, around a week or two before my period I become SO irritable. I begin to feel a bit anxious and just really tense - like a tightly coiled spring! This can then lead to me taking things he says the wrong way, me having a short fuse and getting annoyed by little things he does etc. I then really kick myself for snapping at him, I hate that I’ve spoken to him that way or have been huffy with him for no good reason.

This then leads to me massively overthinking things and thinking he must feel like he’s walking on eggshells with me at times and me worrying that he’ll decide he’s had enough of me.

Does anyone have any advice as to how 1) I can reduce feeling so irritable prior to my period and 2) not think of the absolute worse case scenario when I do act like that?

Thanks

Have you told him you get PMT?

Exercise can help, I always train more when my hormones are kicking my arse.

I have! He understands but I do think he does feel a bit like he’s walking on eggshells. His ex sounds like she was quite unpleasant towards him the majority of the time and whenever I’m like this (perhaps 5% of the time) I worry that he’s going to think I’m like her… I just wish I knew how to work through these issues I have in my head!

I do agree that exercise helps, we went a lovely 6 mile walk on Friday but I still managed to be snappy yesterday

Do you feel your PMS is significantly worse than other women your age? Are you or have you ever been on hormonal contraception and does that make any difference?

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation I’d say it’s significantly worse yes, I’m 30 and none of my friends/colleagues seem to get it quite to the extent I do (that I know of). I haven’t been on hormonal contraception for a number of years.

I’m hoping there’s perhaps a natural remedy for reducing the way I feel prior to my period. I’d even be happy to take prescribed medication

Are you snappy with everyone or just him? What sort of things are you cross about?

@RoyKentsChestHair I do feel myself getting wound up and easily irritable with colleagues but always remain professional (there might be an air of irritability around me that they’d be able to pick up on). I can be a bit like this with my mum too.

Two examples from over the weekend - he was driving my car in too low a gear for the speed he was going so I snapped at him for that. Then yesterday we were deciding what to do and I was irritable and snapped at him telling him I was too overwhelmed to make a decision.

It’s like I feel so tense and feel the anxiety bubble up inside me and I just snap over minor things. It upsets me that I react that way when he’s done nothing wrong, it effects me much more than it effects him

Maybe you want him to take charge a bit more. Sounds like he is a bit passive. Could be irritating for anyone tbh.

He does take charge in some situations. I actually think I naturally take charge in situations with friends, colleagues, family and now him. It obviously doesn’t bother me the majority of the time and maybe it subconsciously annoys me when I’m due my period which comes out as me snapping at him etc

It's not normal for me but that doesn't mean it isn't normal! My friend is like this but she has PMDD. Have a look and see whether you may have any of the other symptoms, might be worth looking into?

I haven't had any PMT since I got a coil fitted as I don't have periods now.

Occasional day where I feel off but hardly ever. And mine was horrendous before. Proper rage too!

@bettertocryinamercedes I’m glad you no longer get the rage!! I’m hoping to conceive within the next year or so, so I’m looking for natural remedies to reduce my PMT.

As soon as my period comes it’s like a sigh of relief and I always think to myself ‘ahh the last few days make sense now!’

This sounds so much like me and I have diagnosed PMDD.

@coconuthead how do you manage your PMDD? I did look in to it and I do feel like I have a number of the symptoms in the 2-3 days leading up to my period

To be honest, nothing has really helped me significantly and I will be pressing forward for a hysterectomy but I have tried a number of things that have worked well for others. A good vit B complex, VIT D, Iron, Angus castus. The pill works for some, the coil works for others (I am progesterone intolerant so these both made me worse) low dose anti depressant works for some too. Exercise does help as PP said but I have zero motivation and can barely get through some days let alone exercise. My relationship struggles in those two weeks because I can't stand my partner, and then as if by magic when I get my period I love and adore him again and don't want to be left alone.