We were with our daughter playing a few board games, wordles and quizzes after tea. Pretty normal thing for us to do together on a Saturday night.
Earlier in the day I'd been at work on a staff leadership development thing, we'd stayed over in a hotel on the Friday night. It was okay but I'm a bit of a home bird, especially at weekend so was happy to be back home. The course was a bit dull (husband and I had exchanged a few jokey texts about this) but there were a couple of random puzzles we had to do in pairs so I brought a couple home as I thought we might enjoy having a go with our daughter (11.) They were absolutely nothing to do with the content of the course, just daft things like rearrange the paper so that each horse has a rider on it. Anyway, him and daughter had a go together at that one. Seemed fine then suddenly he's like, "This is ridiculous, it's impossible!" so I said to both of them something like, "Have another go, keep going!" and he just completely lost it. He said that I was laughing at him and that's what people like me do, look down on people like him to make him feel stupid. I tried to laugh it off because I honestly thought he was kidding but he carried on. I tried to shut the conversation down by saying we need to leave this for now. His voice was raised, mine wasn't. Daughter really upset that we were arguing. He finally stopped. She ran upstairs and then came back down with a board game which we sat and played in near silence. After about half an hour, daughter asked if I could show her how to solve the puzzle which I did. Husband was laughing when he saw the answer and apologised for flying off the handle.
(Well done if you're still reading this random, rather boring story....)
But then later, when she had gone to bed, I realised that he was apologising for saying that in front of our daughter, but that he was still angry that I had made him look stupid in front of his daughter apparently. What?! You've done that yourself! (I didn't say that to him, of course.) He said that people in management are always like that and that he has enough of them at work. I pointed out that I don't work where he works and it's not fair to take out his frustrations on me. I was initially cross that he went on like that in front of daughter and spoilt a chunk of the evening but now I am just so hurt that he thinks I look down on others and "I'm one of them." I really have not done anything to deserve that.
For context, I've always had a leadership role and he has previously been 100% supportive and actually proud of me. I also know that he does not like his job, hasn't for a long time but won't/ can't change roles. I suspect that is where the resentment is coming from but feels like he is being cruel and nasty to me and I don't deserve it. I've said I'm sorry if you are feeling that way but I am not apologising for playing a daft game! His reaction was completely disproportionate.
This morning, he's just got up without even speaking to me and just gone downstairs. Daughter still in bed as usual! Do I try and broach the conversation or just go out for a walk and leave him to it?