Am I settling?

[lardass88]

So I was with a guy over 20 years ago, went out for a few months, then got back with my ex. Anyway last Christmas we got speaking and went out on a date, we've been seeing each other since. Things were going ok but recently I've noticed a few things that are giving me the ick.. he's really intense with his feelings and very touchy feely.. I can tell he's smitten with me but I'm not quite there. He's also made a couple of comments via texts then passes them off as "jokes" when I've pulled him on them. Good points are he's a nice bloke,thinks I'm the best thing since sliced bread etc.
I'm in my 40's and have had a few relationships over the years and have always been happy to end if I've not felt things were going well , I'm not bothered about being by myself. But now I'm once again beginning to question if I'm just settling or if I need to give it a bit more time

If you have to asks that question, you already know the answer.

Things were going ok but recently I've noticed a few things that are giving me the ick..

It's already over. Stop wasting your time.

@lardass88 any update?

@Derelicthome having a different sense of humour is not a problem. But if someone flags to you that your humour is not something they find funny and they prefer you stop, and you don’t? That’s a problem.

As a side note, this can be (not always) a very early red flag for abusive behaviour. It’s not that the ‘joke’ has any Intent behind it, of course the OP’s partner knows that that the Op is unlikely to run off with her daughters boyfriend! But behaviours like this can be early attempts to criticise/ belittle and gain control. And set a dynamic whereby a person is questioned on a very innocuous situation and made to feel there is a problem. This sets the stage (subtly) for gaslighting and a host of other abusive behaviours. 9 times out of 10, abusers justify their comments as ‘it was a joke, chill out.’

I think if you realise you don’t like someone’s sense of humour you end the relationship. Rather than expect them to change what I think is part of their character.

I read it as teasing/flattery, pretending the OP could attract her daughters boyfriend.
I don’t think he sounds abusive. They are just not a good match together.

Those snidy little comments would piss me right off also but you sound like you have your head on your shoulders. Let us know how it goes. Am staying single and just could not be bothered with a relationship. Have my lovely dog. Pets are nicer ha!! Good you recognize when something is off(red flags) and you seem smart so you will make the right decision.

If you get the ick no going back. Also seems like he is trying to rush the relationship on faster than you are ready for. This could also be love bombing. I got turned off my ex talked about above as he started to remind me of politician I cannot stand was truly the ick. Plus he kept disagreeing with me on everything, even if I said lovely full moon he would snap no it is not a full moon. No matter what I said it just got tiresome and knew it was all about control on his side. Why are there so many like this, think men as they get older are far worse.

Thanks everyone for taking the time to reply. I'm going to see how the week pans out in regards to how I'm feeling about it x

Hey. Just in case anyone is vaguely interested thought I'd come back with a update.. it's kind of limped on for a few more weeks but then I decided to trust my gut instinct and end it as I could see it potentially damaging my already fragile mental health. He didn't take it great- sort of ignored my reasoning and just came back with "it'll be ok " had a few messages over the couple of weeks ( broken heart emoji etc) but nothing changed feelings wise for me. It's been a couple of weeks now and I've feel like I've made the right decision. Never settle!