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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is it time to let go?

6 replies

Milou89 · 19/03/2022 03:32

I have a new coworker since september. We are both teachers. He is back to school and working full time at the same time. Both singles. I slowly realised over the past 2 months that I am attracted to him. We have great conversation, a lot in common, he is good looking, great sense of humour....But I am struggling to understand him or what he wants or is it me the problem ? He lives on the same street as the school we work. One night we were walking together after work (I have to pass in front of his appartment to take the Subway). He said to me that he would had walk with me to the Subway but he really need the toilet. Another day, he said that he liked my look. One day, he came in my classroom because he had a new t-shirt and he wanted my advice. He asked me two times in the last two weeks if I was going to the Subway (sadly I had meetings both days so I was leaving the school late ). Last friday, he asked me what I was doing for the weekend and stupid me responded that I was planning to see my family (which was true ) but I should have responded that I was doing nothing and see my family another time. So tonight, I decided to make sure to walk with him. We had a nice conversation but he took his car saying he had shopping to do. The end. No time to ask for his plans for the weekend. So what can I do? Let go? Listen to my feelings and continue to engage with him ? Ignore him ? I dont want to talk feelings with him yet, I dont want to create a bad ambiance at work, I feel it's too soon plus his classroom his just in front of mine. I know for sure that he lacks confidence in himself. What Can I do?

OP posts:
PiperPosey · 19/03/2022 03:52

ME? I would ask him if he would like a nice home cooked meal...
and set a date.

We all hate rejection... so be prepared for him to make an excuse. If he makes an excuse then you'll know for sure he is not interested in romance.
( Unless the excuse is valid..pre-arranged appointment etc...) But at least you will have let him know that you are at least interested.

I had to hit my husband over the head with a baseball bat to let him know...Jeeze... Grin

Aprilx · 19/03/2022 04:57

I tend to think if it is not obvious then he isn’t interested and this definitely isn’t obvious. Asking a colleague what they are doing on the weekend feels like normal conversation to me. I’d not rule it out just yet but play by ear in the coming weeks.

Springhassprung3 · 19/03/2022 07:23

Well could you swap numbers? Text? Put a note through his door one night when you are leaving lage with your number?
If you like him why give up? I fancied my current boyfriend and had to send him a friend request first. We had met in person and I just couldn't stop thinking about him. So I looked him up. He messaged to say hi and confirm who I was. We both ended up saying we had been attracted to one another. It was the first time in My adult life I went after the guy I wanted and started things. But I got what I wanted.

Sparkling321 · 19/03/2022 07:32

If your leaving at the same time one night, ask him if he fancies grabbing a coffee somewhere?

Milou89 · 19/03/2022 14:27

Honestly,
I want things to go slowly (if we are destined to become more than colleagues ) because of the work situation. His contract end in june so he may not be back in the same school next year. So, if things get serious just around may or june, it is ok for me. Remember he is at school too. He have to study on his free time. When I realised my interest for this guy, my plan was getting to know him first. But what I found difficult, is the way he acts and then....nothing. When he asked me advice for his new t-shirt, he was being flirty. Often, I suprised his eyes on me...Last monday, when I say Hi, his face turned red. I feel like he is going slowly forward and then backward ! The day he asked me about my plans for the weekend, it was my error so maybe I am confusing to him to. And...he's not on social media...

OP posts:
Milou89 · 19/03/2022 16:42

And sorry for my english!

OP posts:
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