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Anyone else feel like this ?

8 replies

maccheeseandpeas · 18/03/2022 11:04

We are a family of 5 which includes 3 DC (ages ranging between 13 - 16). Life is boring. Me and DH work full time, DC tend to want to do their own thing these days and are either out with friends/gaming in their spare time. They are not interested in doing things as a family, with the exception of maybe a meal out every now and then and the cinema. Other than that, they don't want to do anything else. There are no cousins/wider family except GPs and DC don't want to go and see them as they are boring, according to DC. We have no friends with children the same age. Life just feels so boring and same old. I could be out with friends a hell of a lot more than I am, but it doesn't feel right being out so much and doing my own thing to an extent that sees me out 3-4 times a week, plus time out for the gym too.

I don't know what I expect to happen/do that will suddenly relieve the boredom. We never laugh together, it's as if we just go through the motions. We could be in and out of a restaurant in an hour, having eaten and had drinks. Maybe its because H has Asperger's and doesn't do small talk, ever. 1 DC is SEN and also doesn't do any small talk or even general talk, ever. He sits with hood up and says nothing to anyone.

Anyone else relate ? I feel so lonely and long for laughter together.

OP posts:
Fairycake2 · 18/03/2022 19:31

Could you and your DH find a new hobby or shared interest to do together? Try and reignite a bit of a spark between you and find something you enjoy together

Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 18/03/2022 19:37

We have just gotten a small pool table. Cost me 15 quid.
Best money spent this year so far...
The dc are PLAYING TOGETHER!!
AND NOT FIGHTING!!
7, 13, 15 AND 16..
Faith in miracles restored...
Usually not in the same room together. Maybe the odd meal but not regularly..
Adult dc is now hunting one down for his house!

maccheeseandpeas · 18/03/2022 23:52

@Easterbunnyiswindowshopping that's great. We also have a snooker table and a swimming pool, DC aren't intetested in either. We're going to Florida for Easter. There won't be any laughs, I'm certain. But I can't seem to explain why or how I know that.

@Fairycake2 we used to watch several tv programmes together. DH now says he doesn't like them anymore. I've suggested getting into a netflix series etc but he's not intetested.

OP posts:
AbsentmindedWoman · 19/03/2022 02:33

We're going to Florida for Easter. There won't be any laughs, I'm certain. But I can't seem to explain why or how I know that.

Do they enjoy or get excited by anything? Or is everything fun like the swimming pool and holiday to Florida just taken for granted with no appreciation?

It sounds really hard for you tbh.

Badbaddog · 19/03/2022 07:34

Could you get a puppy or a rescue dog? They tend to bring people together. And if it doesn’t, you can have fun with it anyway.

MamaMama20 · 19/03/2022 08:07

Going through the same with my husband at the moment I could have written the comment about being in and out of a restaurant within an hour myself. Maybe a trip to Florida will do you the world of good ! Surely to be plenty of laughs there

Sassypants82 · 19/03/2022 17:29

You only have to one life. The others are happy doing their thing, don't get bogged down by pushing your expectations of how you 'should' be interacting together onto your family.

Take up the invitations from your friends, live your life and continue the occasional meals with the kids.

ImInStealthMode · 19/03/2022 17:32

I could be out with friends a hell of a lot more than I am, but it doesn't feel right being out so much and doing my own thing to an extent that sees me out 3-4 times a week

I think you need to address why this doesn't feel right? Your children are old enough not to need you every minute any more, get out and make the most of it!

It's no good turning down invitations and then bemoaning that you're bored.

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