I’m planning on leaving my husband when I return to work (currently on maternity leave until next January). I find his constant negativity, criticism, and miserable nature unbearable. He is also cold, rude and emotionally unsupportive. Barely any sex since first pregnancy…on his phone 24/7 or Xbox. I think he’s depressed but he won’t seek help or admit there’s a problem.
I don’t want to leave while I have no income (no maternity pay) and we also have two young children I want to wait until the youngest is a little older ..I have no issue ‘using’ him in this way as he’s had so many warnings / pleas to make things right and is totally disrespectful so I’m doing what is right for me.
I want to try get things sorted in my head before I leave him but I don’t know where to start…I’d really appreciate to hear any advice from people that have been through this in terms of how to plan for / manage a divorce and navigate coparenting. I don’t think he’d want 50/50 as part of his problem is he finds the kids too much but I want him to see them as much as he wants to so they have a good relationship with him. What are some typical arrangements I could suggest? He doesn’t have much tolerance for night wakings so I was wondering if I could suggest maybe every other weekend during the day and then i can still do evenings while the youngest is still young or he only takes the toddler overnight and then a couple of tea times / help with bedtime mid week.
We both work for my mums business which is also complicated but I would never compromise his job of course. It will require we work together sometimes but not often. I actually think we’ll get on better if we split up but who knows…I want to have a good friendship at least for the kids sake.